Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Rolling in...


The smell of freshly brewed coffee got me sucked in to a bit of thinking.
The weather yesterday was windy, but pleasant.
Daddy and I got the rest of the lights on the house.
I think I need one more bush net.
I also must venture into the attic for tree decorations.
The mouse count is Kris-7 Mice-1 now.

It is damp and they say it may snow tonight.

Chuck got his hair cut so it is a bit cold to walk him.
Must knit a warmer sweater for him.

Was thinking about my mother in law today.
She is getting a hospice evaluation...I think.
She is dehydrated and confused.
Not very reliable info coming from Alabama.

As I think back on my time with Rebecca,
I smile.
These past few years I have not spoken to her,
or any of the family there in Alabama.
Just makes life a bit less stressful.

However, when I lived there in the early days,
Mom and I had loads of fun.
She was always there to take my young girls when I needed her to.
I was in the hospital for pneumonia once and she came in the wee hours,
watched the girls until I got home three days later,
then stayed with me for a few days.
She made me chopped steak with potatoes and onions in a frying pan.
To this day, I cannot make this.
Her cooking was always delicious...in that southern way.
Gravies, and breaded and fried and sweet and sticky!

We always had a fun time going out to eat.
Chinese or southern with fried pickles.
The best treat tho was when we went to the buffet...Quincey's I think...
Best rolls ever!

Walking around the property was calm,
as was sitting and talking on the front porch.
We had lots in common then...both our men were ironworkers
working in New York.
She introduced bubble wrap popping to the girls and I.

One year, Mom broke her arm and Ronni and I went to tend her for a few weeks.
Ronni was only three months old.
I remember waking in the middle of the night seeing Mom leaning over her crib.
She loves her grandbabies.
One of her favorite things to do was come get us for a dairy queen!

Fellowship Baptist church also holds many dear memories.
All of them with Mom.
The Dinners on the Grounds times were of course my favorite times.
Such wonderful, simple, country folk.

Although Mom is bipolar, and there have been MANY bad moments because of this,
sometimes during her high times,
we would laugh and joke and carry on late into the evenings.
Oh the stories she told of all the skeletons of our little town!
All the history, and early days of her marriage.
Enjoying fires it the fireplace or in the yard.

I even repainted her tub when they first moved in.....
we went shopping for her dining room table set,
and one Christmas I was even awarded the red "You are someone Special" plate.

I am sad, that relationships, and people change.
I am sad that for the most part, I was not accepted into the family.
I am sad that my girls will not remember the fun times, but only the bad.

I will finish getting ready for Christmas, and listen to happy music,
think of the fond times with Mom and pray for her quick recovery.
I know she doesn't want to live in this world any longer,
and pray that what time she has is happy and peaceful.
I pray she is well taken care of.
I wish I could take care of her in a way that would show her
how much I treasure our relationship.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

New Traditions


As Thanksgiving rises on this foggy, icy morning,
I am struck with new traditions in my family.

With the addition of boyfriends for the girls and our circle,
I have had to make some adjustments.
I must admit that last year, the first change,
was quite difficult for me.
Patting myself on the back for how well I am doing this year!

Hilary is spending today with Joe's family.
Veronica is cooking and Jamie is playing video games, so I'm told.
My mom, dad and grandmother and I are going out to Cracker Barrel today
for our meal and to celebrate my mom's 72nd birthday...last Monday.

My sister and her family were to come tomorrow, but they are having car troubles.
Hopefully they can come Christmas morning.

I will work on lighting the xmas tree, and preparing green bean casserole,
stuffing preparations, apricot brie topping, and some strawberry rolls.

Tomorrow is black Friday, which I have never participated in,
but for one year working at Media Play
(the best job I have ever had)
I will make orange monkey bread, Brussels sprout au gratin,
and finish the stuffing.
At midnight I will start the turkey...new recipe off of SweetPaul.com

Then on Saturday morning my family will gather for cooking,
and breakfast and games and eating!

It sounds like a nice relaxing series of events.
I used to cook everything myself in one day
and was exhausted and sick for Christmas.
V is bringing desserts and sangria, and chive rolls,
Hilary is bringing sweet potato casserole
and Mom and Mema are bringing relish trays,
deviled eggs and cranberry jelly.

We have also decided to do something different this Christmas.
I don't have small people around any longer to buy for.
My daughters have their own jobs and money
and buy what they want and need when they want or need it.
I do the same thing.
However, I will be spoiling my grandbabies ridiculously!

So we are doing a dirty bingo/white elephant this year.
Everyone was to bring enough gifts for each member of the family.
All gifts must be thoughtfully chosen or found.
Only one gift could cost $10 and that was to be the most expensive gift.
The creativity and excitement come in the wrapping!

We each take a card and go around the circle picking a gift.
The next person can take from the pile or take from someone else.
Until all presents are taken.
Then unwrap!
Possibly exchange.

As my father was thinking this through,
he realized that with 12 people here for Christmas morning,
(Hil will be with Joe's family Christmas eve)
we would have a pile of about 132 gifts!
We would be gifting until New Years.
We have decided on 5 gifts.

Terry and I always go out and do a few stocking stuffers together.
Hopefully I can reign him in on overdoing again!

I am excited about these new traditions.
I am excited about the new traditions to come in the following years.
I love the holidays.
I am blessed.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Dry...Dead...











Beautiful!

Stumbling around my house this morning,
I noticed all of my dried flower arrangements.
All these flowers are from my garden,
some from more than 3 years ago.
I am amazed how beautiful they remain.
I am blessed.

Red Sky


I grew up with the saying
Red sky at night, sailors' delight
Red sky in the morning, sailors take warning.

My family are not sailors.
As far as I know the only ones to even be on a ship,
were my great aunts and my father's mother,
when they took a cruise to Hawaii.

However, I constantly take notice of the sky.
I am a wanna be weather girl.
I have a friend who used to live in Wyoming.
She has different saying for the weather watch.
Something like....if the deer are feeding, it means snow.

This morning, as I was sitting at my dining room table,
I glanced up and saw the beautiful shocking pink and blue sky.
I had to run for my camera.
Wow! Was it nippy outside as I stole a few pictures.
It never is as beautiful in a photo, at least my photo,
as it is seeing the view with my own eyes.

As I was studying the fish and loaves story, I was reminded of a few things.
I need to think in "faith" mode more often than I do.
I need to be more open to what Christ can do through me.
It is never what I can do.
I am such a pitiful slug when I am close to Him.
I am so lucky that He loves me so, and gives me opportunities to
let Him shine through my little attempts
that become HUGE when He is involved!

I need to think BIGGER!

Christ can perform astounding things when I bring Him all I have.

When I bring Him EVERYTHING,
He multiplies it beyond my wildest imagination.
But if I only surrender some of my lot,
it can dwindle to virtually nothing.

It is sad how often I only allow part of what I have to be used.

I need to remember to give it ALL to Him, all the time!

Thanks for the beautiful sunrise this morning God.
And thank you for the comforts
to get through whatever wintry weather is coming.

Lots of hat knitting to be done this weekend I feel.
I am blessed

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Grey


Today is a grey kind of day.
Not emotionally.
I am in a super relaxed, thankful mood today.
Not really inspired to put up holiday lights tho.
That means getting into the attic to hunt for boxes.
I am afraid I will have to unleash a mouse into the trash.
The weather, although supposed to be in the high fifties,
is grey.
I would feel more motivated if the sun was out.
The heater keeps kicking on.
I take this as a sign not to venture out yet.

In studying this morning, I had the word refocus on my heart.
So many areas of my life and the lives of others
that seem some redirection is needed.

I know for me, that I need to act immediately
when I have a thought of someone in my life.
Whether is be a card, or call or prayers for them.
If I don't act, then the probability that I will remember to act later,
is quite slim.

So, I am going to write an email to all my Shaffner family members.
Asking them to send me a current photo of them
and a portrait taken about 10-20 years ago.
I read in the Parade magazine today that people with dementia
have an easier time remembering if they can see and read the information.
I am going to make a family book for Mema.
We aren't doing gifts this year for Xmas.
We are playing dirty bingo.
No one needs anything and if they do, they usually get it themselves.
Food, games and fun.
Maybe I can find something "giving" for us all to do too!

Well, I have talked myself into getting busy!
I finished my Halloween weaving last night.
I will felt it today and post a pic.
I must also figure out my nano!
And I need to finalize the Thanksgiving menu and shopping list.
Ugh.
I am blessed!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Things I learned from my daughters


It's ok to want to have mom take care of you sometimes.
Especially when pain is involved.

Don't be afraid of colors.
One bright color will "pop" any outfit.

Don't wear black and brown together.
Especially one color shoe, another color outfit.

Naps are amazing!

Working hard only has so many rewards.
Doing what you love is priceless, no matter how many hours you put in.

Empty nest is a needed difficulty.
Time alone is precious.

Getting a surprise invitation for drinks or dinner mean more
when spaced out.

Home is a good place. Make wherever you are home.

Thanksgiving meal is best when everyone pitches in.

Texting good night makes a mom sleep better. Even at 3am.

Texting good morning,
even if that is the only communication that day,
makes the day a little brighter.

Keep your mouth shut until you are asked for your opinion.

Leave when you feel like it is time to leave.
Staying longer only brings up bad conversations.

Friends and boyfriends are important...even if I don't like them.
Again...keep your mouth shut!
And try to control facial expressions.

Margaritas are fun!

Being on your own for a bit rejuvinates you.

Being excited about a new interest opens so many windows on your
imagination, and energy and soul!

One thing I am hoping to learn is how to use my nano.
The only songs I was able to download were their songs.
Not all of their songs I enjoy!
Although I must admit that I haven't listened to all 276 of them yet.

Discovering a new relationship as adults is like making a new friend.
It's not all about what I say anymore,
but agreeing on shared interests, and acknowledging dislikes
takes time and effort.
Well worth every moment.

Our values are the same, even if we go about them differently.

My love for them has changed as my role has changed in their lives.
Each kind has value and memories.
I am enjoying now and not looking back...too often.
Looking forward to the fazes as they come.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Safe


Do you feel safe in your home?
Safe in your back yard, garage, front yard?

I was walking Chuck, just up and down my block tonight.
I was out all day, but felt he needed a treat!
He enjoys walking so much.
Almost as much as the cookie he gets upon returning from outside!

As we were walking, I was looking at my neighbors' homes.
Yards raked or not, some nicely landscaped,
others (not many) in need of some repair.
I noticed, while passing a home down the block,
two people were standing in the garage talking.
There were cars in the drive,
so I could only glance at them on either side of the car.
If truth be told, only before passing the drive.
Otherwise, I would have had to turn and look.
This narrative makes it seem as if these neighbors were doing something...
at least interesting.
No.
They just caught my eye.
And made me think.

I remember times when Terry and I would talk in the garage,
while working on a home improvement project,
or Papa and I would watch the thunderstorms coming in
from the safety of the garage.
I don't ever remember being aware of others on the street, passing by.

Working in the yard, especially the back yard,
brings a special kind of privacy that only the late spring through fall brings.
When there are no leaves, Morris Park Country Club members and staff
can view my yard and house with abandon.
Winter is really the only time I even think about anyone being behind me.

I feel this way in my car too.
In my own little world, singing as loudly and as badly as I can.

One of my favorite past times is taking a drive at dusk.
Most people do not close their blinds or curtains in the early evening.
I can see the televisions in the front rooms,
Sometimes dinner being set on the table,
People sitting in comfy chairs, and decorating styles.
All are unaware that as I drive by, they are being observed,
even for only a tiny moment in time.


Is this a common feeling?
Will I be more prone to notice others when I may be observed?
How big is my little shelter in the world?
And does anyone even care?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Hunkering in for the winter


What is it with the fall time?
I know the sun is not shining as long,
which affects our sleep patterns.
The chill in the air, especially at night,
brings out the flannel sheets and electric blankets.
Knitting and fibery things are taking over my free time.
This cold/flu/infection has me digging in and doing not much.
Even Charlie seems to be napping more these days.

I ventured out this morning to Meijer for kleenex,
oj, and powdered sugar donuts....
comfort...come on!
I strolled down the milk isle.
What is with all these new creamer flavors?
Caramel Apple (the one I got),
eggnog,
peppermint,
white chocolate mudslide,
marshmallow cream,
vanilla caramel,
dark chocolate,
hazelnut (not for me, allergies),
gingerbread, and gingerbread latte,
sugar and spice,
Belgian chocolate truffle,
cinnamon bun....
and even skinny ones..caramel macchiatto, and vanilla latte.
I also ran across soy nog and pumpkin flavored soy milk!
(Which, being menopausal, soy is out for me too).

Isn't it way too easy to hibernate with mac and cheese,
fried zucchiniand garlic with evoo and pasta,
and some hot cocoa with marshmallows,
wearing slippers and a blanket on the couch,
candles lit, a little Xmas cd in the background?
Now we have to add all these tempting flavors that
further keep us away from the treadmill,
and yearning for coziness?

I wish you luck, my friends.
As for me,
I'm still recooperating from whatever illness is being thrown at me.
On the couch, Karen's sweater in hands, a peppermint mocha for company!
I am blessed.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Ouch!



Yup! It's two in the morning....
I mean one in the morning now with the time change.
I watched Prince of Persia tonight with dinner.
Not a bad movie.
However the movie was over before eight pm,
and I was bushed.
I seem to have been on my feet all day, and it was a great day!
Coffee with Hil,
Chili with Karen,
Quick hi to V,
Bra shopping at the mall....
One of the worst things in the world!
AND, it must have been a huge sale everywhere,\
because there was not a parking spot to be had,
Everyone and their mother was shopping.
One nice thing, and I don't know the cause,
But center court smelled of pine trees.
One of my favorite smells in the world.
They were setting up Santa.....yes, already....
And the wreaths and trees were all in his little area.
However, they were fake trees.
Could have been Bed Bath and Beyond...
or is that Bath and Body Works?

Any way...off to Lane Bryant because the mall apparently thinks there
are only small chested, 100lb chickies that need bras.
Luckily, LB was having a 40% off the entire store sale.
I got two bras....even though my hair was a total rat's nest by the end
of trying them on!

Trudged out to the parking lot and to Old Navy.
Did you know they had a 50% off all outerwear sale.
I got a much needed pea coat.
Now maybe I won't have to sew on the buttons from my old coat.
It's needed repair for 3 years now.
But that coat does have a furry hood!
Maybe this weekend since, I don't have to do it anymore.
That's seems to be the projects I'm working on now.
I need to finish Karen's sweater for Christmas...
only have to knit the shoulders on the front and sew it together.
But what do I chose to work on?
A pair of detailed socks, that won't even fit me!
Some lucky small footed woman is going to get a great pair of socks!

Which brings me back to my hurting feet.
Before I sat down for the evening,
I started cleaning out my hall closets.
Why I need to do this, I don't know.
I found 4 coffee pots, 5 old computers, 1 printer, 2 screens,
a housefull of sheets and pillowcases,
at least 3 boxes of things I have to "go through",
3 angel food cake pans, 5 pie plates,
a George Forman grill...sorry V called dibs on that one,
4 good cans of paint, 3 empty cans of paint,
2 fondu pots, 3000 cookie cutters,
board games no one has played in years...etc etc.

So if you are in need of ANYTHING, please get in touch with me soon,
or Goodwill is getting a crap ton of stuff!

A bit of Tylenol and a cuppa sleepy time tea,
and I am going to try to sleep a bit.
Maybe if I put cold pack on my hurting feet, they will give me a bit of respit.
Please, someone......help my feet and pain!
This is ridiculous!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Cleaning Doors


I don't know why I do this.
I have regular chores I do every day, every week.
Sweeping the kitchen floor, vacuuming, dusting, laundry,
windows, bathrooms, cleaning mirrors, dishes....
But every once in a while I notice the not so every day chore.
One of those is cleaning off the doors around the knobs.

I use the doors every day.
I see the doors every day.
But I don't notice the condition of them often.

While on the phone with Terry today, I cleaned off the doors.
I noticed them a few days ago, but life got in the way,
and I didn't get to it until today.
All my doors are painted steel core doors.
All but one is white.
They all show dirt.
They all need to be repainted or replaced.
For now, I will have to live with them.
And hopefully put them on the cleaning rotation.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Study of Contrasts


I am studying Beth Moore's Jesus
90 days with the one and only.

I was getting a bit frustrated with some of the days,
as I was expecting awesome, life changing lessons and
insight into my Lord!
Then I took myself out of the study and LOOKED at what the lesson was.

Mark 1:29-34
Simon's mother in law is sick and he told Jesus about her.
Jesus went to her and bent over her, took her hand,
lifted her up and healed her.

Yup, I've read this one before too.
Then I LOOKED.
Jesus didn't just think it and she was healed.
He bent over her, touched her, one on one with her.

Beth relates this moment as a mother whose child is sick.

We moms bend close, face to face, look them in their fevered eyes,
feel their hurt, feel the heat of their little bodies.
I still put my lips to my 20 something daughters when they are ill.

This brought me closer to the God who loves me.
Knowing that He bends close in times of pain, hurt, fear,
as well as joy and excitement.
He is here with me!
On a very personal level.
Not from the Heavens.
RIGHT HERE WITH ME!

The day before's lesson was on satan.
Ezekiel 28:11-17, Luke 4:31-37

The description of satan is one I am not familiar with,
but fits him perfectly.
You were the seal of perfection
full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.
Every precious stone was your covering
Sardius, topaz, diamond, beryl, onyx and jasper.
Sapphire, turquoise and emerald.
All in settings of engraved gold.
Anointed cherub who covers
until iniquity was found in you.
Therefore I cast you as a profanity.

The contrast between the humble, loving Jesus, who cares
and the Self loving, shiny, seems to have everything we want, satan
overwhelmed me.

This is giving me something to ponder today.
A friend who inspires me, also posted a challenge on facebook today.

Stand up and fight! Do something kind for someone you don't like. Forgive someone for something that you have been holding a grudge for, and let them know you forgave them. Be generous with someone that you don't trust. Extend the hand of friendship to someone that has few friends. Love someone that no one else does. You have been challenged :)

Thank you Bruce for reminding me of what Jesus would and does do!