bit blue

I know I am ready for spring!
I yearn to play in my garden!
To watch all the little green buds of my perennials begin their migration north!
Time to wake and bless those who see you!
I truly love my garden.
I think it is the most beautiful, relaxing place in the whole world.

Anyone is invited to spend time here.
To rest silently alone or work in it with me.
It brings me joy!
I am never far from my garden once it starts awakening!
I do my Bible study with it, read along side it, eat surrounded by it.
I sit on my porch with my spinning wheel or bag of fleece
and let the hours pass.
My birds are daily friends.
I look forward to the hummingbirds, orioles, and woodpeckers.

I have many things to do today.
I am going on a fiber retreat in two weeks
I need to be emptying some bobbins.
Preparing my home for pet sitters.....hmmmm.
Tackling spring cleaning before the weather turns nice,
as once it does, I will not see the inside but to sleep.

As an artist, who is also an empty nester,
I find that I have a different time schedule than most.
My days are not ordered by time, but by whim.
I have some responsibilities, but most days are my own.
I find that weekends are more for resting now.
When my kids were home, weekends were filled with
adventures and late nights.
The weekdays were for school and cleaning and early bedtimes.
I was never much of a partier, but now I find that quiet weekends
build me up for the creativity of the week.
I just wish spring would be here!

I am so very lucky that my wonderful husband provides such a life for me.
He works very hard and I appreciate every day he gives me.

I have dreams of a drum carder to speed my fiber creativity!
So....I better get moving...stop dreaming of spring.
It will be here soon enough!
A little Michael Buble and the dishes started will kick off the day.

Silly Bananas!

I bought a Anne Geddes calendar so I would have little babies to look at!
Both my daughters are refusing to even consider having grandchildren for me!
Granted, I agree that they are both to young and selfish at the moment,
but someday in the future I would LOVE grandbabies!

Terry's son and his wife Bridgette have two adorable children.
Brittany will be 5 and Beau will be 3.
I was birthday shopping today for Brittany.
I found that trying to narrow down the books I loved and wanted for her
was quite useless!
I chose Fancy Nancy for Brittany, Sylvester and the Magic Pebble
for both of the kids and The Fire Cat for Beau.
I so enjoyed reading to my girls! Constantly!
I loved the artwork, the stories and making all the funny voices to go along!

When I worked at the library, shelving books, my favorite area was the
children's area. Sorting and reading through all the new books was a
dream come true!

After selecting these books, I traveled over to Micheals for accessories!
I found two boas, a tiara, a wand, a ring and lots of ribbons.
All stashed into a bright pink fluffy bag!
I only wish I could be there to play fancy dress up with her!!!

God knows what He is doing by making me wait a bit.....
at least until I save up some money for grandbaby gifts!

Tiny faith.

I am always surprised how God chooses to use me
and who He chooses to put into my life!
He truly has made some amazing people in His little world!
No two are alike.
Each life brings so much to the table.
Chocolate is His best idea!
I would never chose for myself such a diverse group of friends.
Old, Young, Tall, Short, Happy, Sad, Crazy....ok, most are crazy!!!
By nature, I am content and happy to be by myself.
Think my own thoughts, and busy myself with fiber wonderfulness.
God is always challenging me.
I am learning to lean on Him more every day!
I am learning to act when He speaks to me,
to not miss any opportunities He presents,
Even when I am dog tired!
He always blesses me with energy and surprise and joy.
I am capable of ANYTHING with Him driving!
Tough days are tough.
Conflicts occur constantly.
Shut my mouth and wait for the answer.
It always comes.

Learned from a new friend tonight
that I need to remember to trust that God has it planned
out and will take care of all the details for my best interest.
Even when I am hanging on to what I think is right for me.
If I have that tiny bit of faith,
the blessings will spill overas I could never imagine them to!
Taking that step is scary.
But choosing to take it more times than not, make the risk less risky each time.
Thank you friend!
Dog tired.
Time to sleep!

Momma always knows....part deux

As a parent, you never know what the right thing is to do.
There are no instruction manuals,
and if there were...they would be rather useless.
Every child and every parent is different,
with different responses and attitudes.

When I was mulling over the past blog,
I was remembering how, as a young mother with young kids,
I again, was oblivious most of the time.
The younger childeren however, were less skilled
at covering up their mischief.

I remember two instances:
When we lived in Alabama, I had at least an acre of daffodils
that bloomed every spring.
My motto was that they lasted longer and could be enjoyed by more
if they were not picked.
One morning, I looked out my window to find NO daffodils at all!
I later discovered that my two angels and the neighbor's daughter had picked
all the heads off of the flowers and had hidden them under Hilary's crib.
An acre worth of daffodil heads....couldn't even put them in vases!

Another time, I was hosting a small group valentine party one evening.
During the day, I set out the table with non perishable foods.
The kids, again the three angels, were instructed
that they could have anything in the kitchen to eat
but leave the party food alone. I went about my business.
As I looked out the kitchen window, I saw three small girls running full out,
acroos the backyard into the "woods".
I also noticed that their sweat pant legs looked odd.
When I checked the table, all the oreos were gone.
The girls had stuffed all the cookies into their pants.

We won't even talk about the time they snuck into the neighbor's potatoe patch
and dug up all the potatoes to make soup. Mr. Murray was not happy.

The reason for the previous blog, mainly is because all of us, me included,
do some dumb things and think that no one will ever know.
Moms always have an instinct to look out the window at the right time,
journals are always found by those you wish did not.
Stop signs are run when you assume no cop is ever watching,
Jewelry or clothing are taken from a dressing room when you assume there
is never a camera or security watching.
Even the rich and famous do this...ie Paris Hilton videos,
Winona Ryder shoplifting, Tiger Woods infidelities.

Humans are unbelievably self centered and daft.
God sees things in our hearts before there is an action.

Children grow up.
Mothers, even after the children are married with children of their own,
will always worry, will always find out, what you think only you know.

This is ment as an observation on my part about my kids, and other mothers who
are feeling alone. You are not.
We raise them as well as we can,
and they must go into the world to make their own way.
I am just finding it difficult to give them over to God completely yet.
I must admit, that I am getting better! Just a bit.

Momma ALWAYS knows

I am not saying this to try to sound righteous.
I am just stating this as a fact.
I don't understand why.
I know that my peace of mind would be so much better if I didn't.
God has somehow given me the circumstances.

I am a very trusting person.
I will believe anything you tell me.
I will not assume that you are doing wrong.
EVER.
But one way or another,
I always seem to find out.

Know this now,
as I have tried to tell you
many many times before.
It is so much easier for me and you both
when you just tell me the truth.

People don't keep secrets well.
Situations always rat you out.
Even if you think you are being so careful.
It only takes a moment.
My feelings get hurt.
You feel guilty or angry.
Our relationship is strained for a half of a second.

I do have wisdom from experience.
I can think clearly and give you wise advice most times.
I have been quiet until asked.
Most times.
I never want to hurt you.
I only want what is best for you.
However, I will allow you to make your own decisions.
I will let you suffer your own consequences.
I will not suffer consequences for you any longer.
I will not allow you to do something
that will cause me
to suffer ANY consequences.

Trust that I love you.
Because I do.

God just gives mommas something inside.
Something that makes it possible for us
to be in the right place at the right time.
To see with the eyes in the back of our head.
To read your mind.
Read what is not ment for us, what we are not looking for,
but always finds us.
See things that we would rather not see.
OH! I wish this sight on you in future years.
The mother's curse.
Be good and be honest!
Be true to yourself and to your MOMMA!

Spin, Span, Spun

In years past, I would have loved to hibernate this February.
Instead, I have been challenged by my best friends
to go to the gym every day and stick to my diet.
I have extra challenges than they do...but I am slowly succeeding!
I am so very proud of my K's.
They hold me together, lean on me, laugh at the strangest things,
take me along, follow me....we are great!
I fear that KS has become obsessed with the casino
and KB is venturing into yoga a bit too deeply!
HAHAHA! I'll keep my eyes and prayers on them.
They don't rag on my for my fiber!

So, I get up, go to the gym for a good sweat, come home and keep moving.
Charlie is learning very quickly...and yes, he is very cute!
I am teaching him to play dead when I shoot my finger at him and yell "BANG".
He is also learning to "hide" under the table cloth until I whisper his name.
Yup, I am proud.

I have been spinning all the fiber I can out of my store.
I need to ply some now, as I have run out of small bobbins.
I am enjoying this as much as when I began a year and a half ago.
I am hoping to use our year end bonus for a drum carder...
which will save my elbows and make my batts quickly.

I enjoy being an artist.
It is not something that I share with many people.
Terry is so very supportive of me.
I appreciate this more than I can tell him.

My goal is to spin as much as I can of what I already have,
so that this spring I can restock!
I am interested in new fibers that peak my interest.
Sparkle, CMV, Quivet, Icelandic, etc.

I am finding that I enjoy the feel of the fibers
sliding through my fingers onto the wheel.
Some have a bit more lanolin in them and are a bit resistant, but oh!
I love the softness of my hands. Nature's body butter!

Alpaca is not giving at all but so soft and delicate feeling.
So strong though! I love knitting with it!
Karen will be surprised! As she is losing weight and cold all the time.
She will be very warm with her alpaca sweater.

I am spinning some wool with llama.
Definitely for outer wear as the llama has the guard hairs
sticking out all over.
I will find another processor this spring before tackling any more llama.
Free is one thing...but mercy it makes a mess when spinning it!
My vet's nurse has 3 llamas and has offered to give me the fibers.
I will offer to help her shear as this last batch was just nasty
with hay and vegetable matter mixed in with dirt and second cuts.
Second cuts are when the shearer goes over an area twice so there are
tiny clumps of hair mixed in, which a spinner cannot use.
And llama hair is like human hair....very difficult to clean at home.

I am inspired tonight and this month.
Good things are happening!
Christ has been so good to me. He truly wants for me all that I desire.
I am so lucky that He loves me so.

blah!

I seem to be having a few more of these blah days recently.
I woke up way too early and fumbled around.
I decided to finish my secret sister's mug rug.
I filled it with lavender.
I am happy with it.

However, my mood is not what I want it to be.
My mom and dad came over today.
My mom was having a hard time coping with my grandmother
who is starting to go into dementia.
Mema is complaining that her pans and coins and snacks are missing.
She thinks someone is taking them.

I have a feeling that my mom cannot handle this turn in my mema.
Mom gets really down and then gets angry at everyone.
I don't like being around her when she is like this.
I try to make it better.
I offer to come and get Mema...now I just have to do it.
It frustrates me sometimes when my folks go to lunch or dinner
and do not take mema.
I believe she is going downhill because she spends so much time alone.
I also believe that she and mom are like oil and water...only the oil is more vocal.

I would like mema to move in with me, when she cannot take care of herself.
Big challenge, but I am up to it.
Quite a lifestyle change, but she is mema.
I cannot let her go into a nursing home while I can care for her.

Going to do a bit of spinning and listen to Beth Moore.
Cuppa tea sounds good too.

juices flowing

I am blessed with many wonderful talented friends!
Those I meet with regularly over apple pancakes, and learning experiences,
and those who I follow by their blogs whom I have never met.
If you are curious, float through the blogs I follow.

Today, the snow was falling in huge puffy flakes.
The roads were a bit slippy and the car didn't want to go
where I wanted to go.

I had a wonderful bagel with my girls.
I love them more than I could ever tell them.
I am working so hard on keeping my mouth shut.
I have a very bad habit of making parting shots...which I am not proud of.
Guess I figure, I won't say it to their face because
I will see their eyes roll at my wisdom imparted....
but to their leaving backs,
I get it out of my system and don't have to see the reaction.
Working on that, girls!!!

As I drove to my friend's home, I was a little hibernaty feeling.
Don't want to be out, want to curl up with knitting and tea
and watch the white fluffiness around me.
When I arrived, I was greeted with warm southern hospitality!
Then she taught me what I needed to remember from long days gone by.
Simple.
Not extraordinary.
But it started my juices.
Then I read on Deanne Fitzpatrick's blog.
She and I are the same person, only she has funds and drive and time
to be what I cannot...or have not tried to be yet.
I dream of retiring to Nova Scotia with a small farm with sheep for fiber
and viewing the oceans for inspired rugs!
I try to be inspired by Indiana, but.......nothing has provoked me yet.

So, I am back inside, watching the snow flurries, with a cup of Chai tea
and getting inspired.
I may spin today.
I will probably try to design a small rug for my secret sister.
I need to facebook a few people with
signature quilt invitations for their wedding gift.
I WILL do my dishes first!

I will relish in the juices for a bit.
This is my favorite time of creativity!
Come on snow!

fill me up!

I have gotten into a rut.
I spin fairly well.
I am taking 5 classes this March at the 9th annual fiber retreat
at the Missouri extension.

I have been knitting for as long as I can remember.
I teach beginning knitting to a few and
always have multiple projects started in various stages.

It seems as though I have given up on quilting,
although I think I have at least 3 baby quilts to make!

CARE ministry is wonderful, but not fully developed yet.
Meals for recovery and new babies,
thinking of you cards to members who have
slipped away from church for a bit,
and any needs that come through the pipelines.
I need to focus on growing this ministry and what it means.

I have a routine set in now for working out at the gym...
although I hate every minute of it!
I feel better. Slow and steady.
I was commenting to Terry this morning that I was off to the gym......
then had no plans.
I was feeling empty.

Yes, there are lots of things I can do, but nothing inspiring!
Maybe it was because Hilary colored my hair yesterday.
Black with orangy red highlights and peekaboos.!
Ba Bing!
New me~!

When I checked the mail today, I received a catalog for Light University.
Certificate program in Biblical Counseling, focusing on Women.
I am praying about this.
I have been talking about going back to school.
This is an in home, do it in your own time study.
5 Units, 6 classes each.
Units...Life Enrichment, Life Transitions, Life Problems,
Marital Life, and Family Life.
Sounds right up my alley, huh?!

God knows my every desire, even before I know it!
He just dropped this at my feet because I needed something.
What better way to spend my days,
and a plus ... to spend it with Him.

I have been lifted out of the rut!
Praises!

CRITTERS!

Since Maggie passed away...how does one say that about a loved one?...
Charlie has been clingy and skitterish!
When on walks, he gets frightened easily..by bushes!
He is always in the same room with me,
and always VERY excited when I come home.
He is learning many tricks!
One he has NOT mastered is come...when there is something more interesting to see.

We have a doggie door, so I don't have to worry about getting up too early!
I love to sleep!
One evening, I was knitting and Charlie had gone into the back yard.
I heard his "bark". The one where he is nervous about something.
I went outside and he was beside the porch nervously barking.
For some reason, when I went outside, he turned brave.
He bolted across the yard to the bird feeder and barked rapidly at something.
I got a flashlight ans discovered it was a raccoon!

Charlie would not come to me!
That's all I need. No dogs!
I finally got him inside, grabbed my bb gun and flashlight and went outside.
Anyone who saw me, seriously would have considered that I had been a SWAT member, by the way I held my gun and flashlight together, searching the yard!
No luck, other that scaring the fence.
Coon was gone.

Charlie and I saw/attacked the raccoon again last night,
and this morning I called the exterminator.
He set traps skillfully and also informed me
that I have a Possum problem.

I also have a nervous nilly dog.
He barely goes outside, and pees on the back door!
Oh My!!!

As of one hour later...count..Kris 1 squirrel, 0 raccoons!