Who am I?

I am crazy in love with Jesus!
I am transforming everyday.
Some days I move forward and closer,
some days I take giant leaps backwards.
I hope that my sight remains on Him.
I am trying.

I am different from most folks.
I am quiet and hardly ever speak first...
or last in a crowded room.
My thoughts are hardly ever deep on their own.

I am ultra conservative, but haven't always been that way.
I am VERY naive.
For as shallow as I am sometimes,
I have really good insights.

The only things I really focus on and study outside of Jesus,
are fiber arts and gardening.
Eh, I garden in the spring and early summer and fall.
When the weather gets hot, the garden takes care of itself.

I enjoy politics.
I really like Glenn Beck and Bill Oreilly.
I don't particularly like their style most of the time...
way too loud and obnoxious for me,
but I agree with their values.
Family, God, work hard, be kind, look forward and behind.

It upsets me alot that people cannot discuss viewpoints
without becoming angry, loud, mean.

I really would like to know what people believe,
study upon their views, and incorporate them into my views,
or reject them.
But in a kind, graceful way.

I don't believe that any of us have all of the information.
Insight is gained by openness.

I am happy to be alone and I love being with people.
I love to laugh!
I love movies of all kinds.
I love to read murder mysteries.
Nature and I are good friends.
I love baby animals, monkeys and beautiful sunsets.
I need to lose weight and am trying every day...
most days I do well.

My daughters are beautiful, inside and out.
I am very proud of them.
I am proud that I helped a little in their life.
Every day I am happier that that part of my job is done.
I never thought I would see that day!
I have faith that they will have extraordinary lives.
Hopefully without too many bumps in the road.
Life is short, but we must remember that tomorrow is another day!

I am very proud of my husband
and how hard he has always worked to provide for us.
Even if I didn't agree with him all the time.

I have had many hard times in my life.
Family illnesses, hard years in my marriage,
I survived the teenage years of my girls,
the harsh ending of friendships,
trying for years for a relationship with inlaws,
but finally having to accept that I must stop trying,
heartaches, back aches, foot aches,
many nights of sleepless worry, self doubt etc.

It is better to leave it all to God and expect Him to handle it.
I do what I can with His help, but the difference is
knowing He is the one in the driver's seat.

I am blessed.

Tea

I have started drinking hot tea instead of coffee.
I began drinking coffee on my honeymoon in New Orleans.
So now, when I drink coffee...it has to be very strong,
and have lots of cream in it.
And I mean lots.....like half cream.
No fru fru creamora, powdered or flavored stuff.
Half and Half.
Possibly heavy whipping cream if no half and half is available.

This is the main reason for tea.
Slowing down on the cream.
Because, let's face it.
When you have coffee, you really want pie or a donut to go along with it!

When I was at Barnes and Nobles this week, I bought a nifty little tea carafe.
It is a tea strainer, steeper, thermos thingy.
I learned that you put the tea leaves/or bag into the main thermos.
Pour hot or cold water in it.
Put the strainer on, then the cap.
One drinks through the strainer that filters out the tea leaves.
How fun is that?!

I even had to take a trip to Saugatuck to the Spice store for loose tea leaves.
How decadent am I?
Orange Passion fruit, Paris, Blueberry blend, and Cocoa Cardamom.
I really have been enjoying this.
I slipped my lime green Thermos into my purse when going to a movie too.

My Goodness....I've been heavy!

I spent most of the day yesterday lounging.
Woke up at 4:30 am, and instead of just laying in bed,
I got up and spun.
Then I went back to bed until 10.
Made myself some blueberry pancakes.

The rest of the day was spent, carding and spinning.
I really enjoyed the day because some really great movies were playing on tv.
You know the kinds....ones you have seen a million times.
You only have to look up every once in a while, to see the best parts.

It started with Lara Croft, then Star Troopers, then Twister,
(I love Twister because not so secretly,
I would really like to be a tornado chaser!)
then Men in Black, then Princess Bride, and Fifth Element...only to name a few.
No, I didn't spend the whole day watching all of these movies,
and I did flip around and not see all of them in their entirety.

I did get 200 yards of colorful yarn carded and spun.
I did walk Charlie around the block.
I did pick and freeze a dozen okra.
I canned one pint of green beans.


But it was a nice day to do nothing!
No worries.
Went to dinner with V at Bonefish.
How I have grown to love raw fish!
The ahie tuna is amazing!
And I tried the new key lime with raspberries cold stone.
Very refreshing!

And I did sleep like a log.
Well, on that matter I am afraid to get up in the middle of the night.
I have a new security system that has a motion detector in the hall.
Yup. Right outside my bedroom door.
I make sure all my business is taken care of before I set the thing.
And I lay very still!

Have a wonderful day!

We've all heard it before...

It was ment to be.
Time heals all wounds.
God only gives you what you can handle.
You are building character.
Get over it already.
I'll pray for you.
Sometimes the answer is no.
It'll get better.
There is always rain before the rainbow.
It is darkest before it is light.
You have to walk in the valley for the mountain to mean more.
Even tho you walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I am with you.





We have all heard these at times in out lives that seem the darkest.
We have all said something like this when others are having hard times.
And they are all true.

God will take care of us, as he provides for the sparrows all their needs,
so He will provide for ours.

But darn it!
Sometimes hearing it is not what we need right then!

I was feeling overwhelmed this morning with all the hurt around me.

We need a hug.
We need understanding that this really hurts.
We need silence!
We need time to cry and grieve and suffer.
We need someone to stand beside us and not say anything.
We need someone to listen to our hurt without judgement.

Be that for someone who is hurting.

If you are hurting, then allow yourself to hurt...
for a time.
Grieve and scream if you must.
But only for a time.

Then pick yourself up and concentrate on someone else.
The quickest way to heal is to focus all of your energy on someone else.
I'm not saying to wear yourself out,
but get the focus on helping others for a time.

Walk someone's dog.
Bake a meal for someone in need.
Knit a hat for a soldier or mittens for a child.
Listen to some uplifting music and spin around.

Make sure to spend some time every day focusing on God
and what His plan is for you.
If you don't know what that is, try to find out.

Know that there are people out there with worse than you.
Know that there are people praying for you.
And loving you.
It will get better.
Hugs!

Meals on wheels!!!

Since I have lived in an empty nest for over a year,
my eating habits have changed drastically.
Well, my cooking habits.
Yes, I have been dieting too....
slowly going down, and not gaining!
It just seems easier for a single person to eat out.

I go to salad on Wednesdays with my girly girl friends.

Breakfast on Mondays with Veronica is always a treat...
even if it is brunch at panera.

Hil and I usually eat out once...
Logans anything and everything salad is a favorite.

We have family dinner on Sunday evenings with my parents,
mema and any boyfriends that are in town!

Once in a while, the girls and I will cook meals for a week.
That is so much fun.

I love to grill out almost anything if it's not too hot or mosquitoie.
Coffee on the porch in the early morning watching the birds in the garden,
and reading and studying is pure heaven.

Which leads me to today.
With the care ministry, my team and I make meals for members recently out of the hospital, who have just had babies, or are in need of some kind.
I love taking the first meals.
Especially to the new babies!

It is these time that I love to cook.
I love my kitchen for this reason only.
I think that is why we were able to remodel it right before attending Living Stones.
I have a few favorite things I like to make, especially in season!
I always make a serving or two for me also.
And I usually make enough to freeze
or find another family who needs a meal at the same time.

I have the best team in the world...too.
They are the best cooks.
When Terry and I were on vacation,
we had a church baby born early,
and a member whose hubby was in the hospital.
I coordinated by facebook and email from the road.
It went so smoothly!

Today I am exhausted!
Such a goooood tired!
Delivering meals in an hour.
Yoga tonight at 7:30.
Think I may fall asleep tonight in class!

Making my bed

A long time ago, I heard a Christian comedian do a piece on
wanting to great things for God,
but He told her to make her bed first.
This frustrated her, because she hated making her bed.
It was such a small insignificant thing.
It was not world changing.
It was not saving people for God!

But her insight eventually was,
that unless she was able to do the small things first,
the big things would not be trusted to her.

I am feeling that way today.
And then I remembered that it is through the small things
that God does His most magnificent works.

No one will ever see if my bed is made daily or not, but I know.
And God knows.

Most days I just pull the comforter up and call it a day.
After all, I am just going to crawl back in after a full day.
Who cares if the sheet is rumpled underneath.
God does.

I need to tackle everything God has laid out for me with great care.
Do everything completely.
No wrinkled bits covered over.
Because He does see.

I need to be patient because I do not know what His plans are for my life.
I can only listen for the next step when it comes.
I am doing it for Him.
Not for me.

It is through me that He is working to touch others.
I have no idea how He is using me.
I honestly don't want to know how He is using me,
because I don't want to think that it was me...
instead of Him.

I am that small.
I am small enough that He can use me.
I need to remain small, and get smaller all the time.
So that He becomes HUGE to those who need to know Him.

So, I will go remake my bed.
Pull the corners tight.
Put the pillows on straight.
Because no one will know but me and God.

struggling

This feels kinda like a struggling day.

I was very sleepy all day yesterday, but made myself be sort of productive.
Woke early to the alarm and headed off to church.
I had made three meals for three families at church
and I was a bit worried about seeing all of them to remind them to get their meals.

P.S. If there is taco soup and squash casserole there tomorrow,
I hope the church staff enjoys!

Tonight is family dinner and my mom is in a funky mood.
Hope I don't have to end dinner abruptly.

Anyway...it seems like Satan and the world are attacking our lil church family right now.
Not in big ways, but big enough.

Pastor Sam was ill this morning.
A member's father passed away last week.
There was an accident lasts night, that injured a member badly.
Another member had pneumonia and is recooperating after a very rough week.
He is in the nursing home for 25 days.
One friend's mother has cancer and will decide tomorrow how much treatment is needed.
One friend's mother has MLS and they are all very upset.
One friend's husband is in the hospital with a bad staff infection.
One friend's mother has autoimmune disease that is attacking her liver.
One friend's husband is underemployed and they are struggling.
One friend is struggling with her faith.

And these are just what I know about now.

Alright Jesus!
You can tackle anything and I am asking you to tackle all of this.
Use me as you will in these situations.
Keep my energy and disposition up and focused.

I have begun a specific daily prayer time that I will not sway from.
I have never done this before.
It is difficult to focus.
I am keeping my eye on God though and He will see me through.
I believe in the power of prayer.
I believe that God wants to give us our hearts desires.
We only have to ask.
I am asking Father.
Specifically.
I have faith in you!

I feel better already!

I could just spit!

This is so much fun!
I spent most all of the day discovering with my drum carder!
I ordered Deb Menz's book Color in Spinning.






I spent a whole afternoon this weekwith a highlighter, scouring this book!
Today I played.

Never would I have done the things I did today,
without her prompting and instructions!
What pretty yarn!
Six colors, two groups.
Two different batts layered together of each color group.
Two different yarns.
(Although they don't look much different to me!)

I learned a way to make roving out of the batts.
Normally I would have just ripped the batt lengthwise and spun,
but this way I made one looooonnnnngggggg thin roving,
which is way easier to spin into a great yarn.

(Roving) is just a long thin continuous section of fiber,
with the fibers all smooth and going the same direction.

I love love this carder and it is so fast!
I am going to have so much fun yarn to spin this fall!
Wahoo!

pampering

My girls look out for me....
even when I am doing great!
I posted a question on facebook about which you would prefer if you were down,
mani or pedi?
My two friends made appointments for the three of us
to get manis and pedis!

What a fun night of being pampered and laughing!

My girlys know that my lil hurting, swollen feet needed a bit of bling!

These friends are my lifeline.
I owe them my sanity!
And my insanity.

Thank you girly girls!

Sugar and Spice and a few Snails thrown in

A sweet little girl made me a mud pie with grass sprinkles on it today!
It has been a very long time since I have had a mud pie.
It has been a very long time since I have even thought of mud pies.
But, she was cooking up a storm.
After a few minutes, she came back and took the untouched plate,
Happy as can be that we had eaten her creation!

The imagination of children amazes me.

This event started me remembering....
my childhood and the childhood of my girls!

I loved see saws all the way through high school.
Trying to adjust your seating for the perfect balance,
or seeming to fly higher than the treetops,
only to come soaring back to earth.
And then there were always the purposeful jolts, you gave each other!

Merry go rounds held the same excitement for me.
Running as fast as you can and jumping on at the last possible moment!
Scouting to the very center with legs wrapped haphazardly around the bars
so you wouldn't slide off of the twirling top!
Even laying on my back with my head precariously off of the end,
watching the clouds and trees, and pusher going past!

I remember picking flowers from my mother's garden,
and other neighbors gardens, on May 1st.
From a babysitter, we had learned how to make paper vases...
and paper balloons...
we put these bouquets in the vases,
laid the flowers on a favorite neighbor's porch,
ring the doorbell and run away, hiding to see their expression.

The neighborhood kids would gather in my front yard to play games of all kinds.
One of the favorite was each team would walk along the street going opposite directions.
When a car was spotted, each team had to run back and sit in the yard before the car passed. You were out if the car passed you before you sat down.

Pogo sticks, chinese jumprope, and roller skates were high on the list, as were monkey bars and slides.

Capturing lightening bugs was always such fun.
I sometimes collected the perfect shaped stones and painted animal faces on them.
Hours were spent with just my thoughts and I seemed to notice nature more then.

I can't remember the non fear of being a child.
Do you remember swinging as high as you could then jumping into the air...
always landing safely....well, most of the time, safely.
I am terrified of such things now.
I am terrified of doing a head stand, or a cartwheel.
There was a time when all I did was take chances.

Maybe the reason I love gardening so much
is all the joys in the garden as a child!
Hollyhock dolls, snap dragons, bathing beauties in the bleeding hearts...

I love watching little ones playing,
and dream of someday having grandchildren
to share all of the lessons I have forgotten about playing
with them.

But until that happens, don't be surprised to find me in my garden
making dolls and laying under the trees
trying to get a glimpse of a fairy or an elf.
And the possibility of mud pies for lunch with grass sprinkles on top
is HUGE!