What's a family to do?

What a day this has been.
Too much for one day, I'll let you in on that.
Hopefully this will spur you and your family
to have a discussion, or six,
that our family did not have until too late.

Mema is 88 years old.
She is suffering from dementia,
but still is a lively, lovely lady.
She is not able to take care of herself, by her self.

When my mother fell twice in two months,
Mema went to stay with her youngest daughter
who lives in Florida.
Oh this would be perfect!
The winter in Florida!
Until there was talk of her staying there forever.

My aunt had not seen my grandmother for two years.
She only talked with her on the phone weekly.
She didn't realize how much care my grandmother needed.
Her husband is having a hard time adjusting.
My aunt works all the time,
and so Mema is left alone most of the day,
while my uncle works in the yard.

My sister and I didn't feel that my folks are healthy enough
to take care of Mema.
What if Mom fell again, or Daddy got sick?
Living with me is not what my parents want for me or Mema.

So the question is: Where will Mema be the most happy?
Do we find a nice senior living/nursing home?
There are usually waiting lists,
and we have all heard the horror stories.
And if we do find one,
does she stay in Florida until she can move in?

If she comes home before moving, to my parents home,
do the girls and I schedule weekly visits and trips
so as to be ready to follow through with these plans
when she does move into a senior home?
It seems like a lot of hard work.
I hate to take time away from my girl's busy lives.
I guess my folks feel the same way about me caring for Mema.

Is a senior living even the best place for her?
Should she stay with my folks
until something happens that she cannot?
How will we know when that time is?

We all love her so much.
It just seems like there are so many selfish mindsets to work through.
Why dan't it be simple?

Why didn't we all talk when were were all together?
Mema has kids in Florida, Nevada, Louisiana and Indiana.
They are all getting older.

Hilary has sworn off kids fore this reason:
She doesn't want her children
to have to go through this when she gets older.

We have already discussed that I WILL NOT
live with either of my girls if it comes to that point.

Who knows what life throws at you though?
Things seem to turn on a dime.
Egos and baggage and hurt feelings get in the way.

Talk about it now!
While the older folks in your family can tell you what they want.
Live each day to the fullest.
You are only in charge of you and your stuff.
Figure it out in advance.

Prayers for clarity would be appreciated.