Your Memories

Your memories are your own reality.
You are your hurts and your laughter.
When you are a child, the whole world is about you.
Some people never grow out of this phase.

It's almost impossible while sailing a toy boat
to look across the pond, see a man fishing,
and share his thoughts and memory of that pond.
No matter what he tells you of his experience,
it will always be  a toy boat memory for you.
You may comprehend what he says,
but you will never fully understand.

Every child should have a childhood full of love and acceptance
and every chance to grow up without trauma.
More and more, in this broken world
there are horror stories out there.
We few who grew up "normally"
are blessed to only hear of these other childhoods.
The silver spoon, never divorced, 2.5 family with a dog
can never understand fully the divorced, had to live with grandma
because mom did drugs and dad was in prison, childhood.

We try. 
Most of us try to understand each other.
But sadly, most of us cannot step out of our own hurts and memories
to see that the person we think is hurting us,
the person who is not the perfect parent, sibling or friend,
is actually hurting themselves.
And who is to say what is the perfect...fill in the blank?
Is it your perception, or mine?
Or is it his?

We make decisions based on our memories and feelings.
This is  not what God would have us do.
God is GRACE.
To allow that cast off relation to be exactly who they are.
To exercise or not, to eat vegan or not, to smoke or not.
Not expecting them to be who you want them to be.
Letting them have the job that fulfills them,
not what you think should fulfill them.
To listen to the music they enjoy, even if you do not like opera.
To live where they feel comfortable,
not to have the home you approve of.
Be understanding that they have a past.
They try their best
They make mistakes.
We all do.
Pray.
Study.
See a counselor to help you overcome.
Then put it behind you as best you can.
Smile even when you feel like yelling.
Because anything you say will only ever really mean more to you.

Sometimes people need to have distance put between you and them.
Sometimes they are so hurt and stuck in their horrible memories
that they can only hurt others.
But before you take that drastic action,
make sure you are not letting your own selfish memories
overshadow your reason.
Be deliberate about your timing, your words,
and try to step outside of your own troubles
to see the hurt surrounding another.

So many innocent people are affected by your actions.
Both good and bad.
Some consequences known,
but most unknown because
you do not take the energy or time to notice who you affect.

We only get so many chances in this life to make a difference.
Give that flower.
Write that note.
Make that call.
Take that hour and visit.
Smile.
Say a kind word to a stranger.
Take that moment to hold open the door.
The more good thoughts you think,
even if you do not feel them right away,
will change your future.
You never know when it will be your last opportunity.
And you are the only one who can control that action.
Most times blaming the other person for not reaching out,
is only really hurting yourself.

I love you.