Friends wanted: inquire within

I am noticing a common thread among women.
Now, it happens to men as well,
but I am a woman and can only voice my opinion as such.

Women want friends.
Women are in need of girly girl relationships.

In grade school, everyone likes everyone!
Moms set up play dates and birthday parties and social interaction.

In middle school, sleepovers start, music becomes important,
cliques begin, boys are noticed, broken hearts are shared.
Moms are still arranging things but not so much.

In high school, friendships are explored, adapted, changed and accepted.
The hunt for boyfriends begins in earnest
as do narrowing the best friend options.
More important life events are shared.
We begin to grow up.
Moms are not involved AT ALL.

In college and after, our lives begin to expand, and isolate.
Jobs take up our social time, but we still can party into the wee hours.
Most of our school friends have moved away, or we have.
Making friends becomes a bit harder.
Your options are limited.
Office, gym, church, bar.
We become more self conscious.
If you are lucky enough to find a life partner,
friendships take a back seat for years.
You also meld his and her friendships.
You are lucky if you like the spouse of your friend.
You are luckier if your spouse likes their spouse.

When you have children, your main priority becomes what your mother's was:
Find playgroups and friends for your child.
Your needs and your focus are put on the back burner.

When you finally realize that you do indeed need a friend our two,
it is difficult to make that happen for yourself.

Honestly, I was in my thirties when I earnestly began my search.
My girls were in the beginnings of not needing my input.
After a few homeschool groups I started,
and a few women's Bible studies, I was asked to lead a small study group.
We were twelve women seeking friendships and answers in a common situation.

We went on women's retreats together,
and spent most every evening on those retreats, talking into the wee hours.
We made time for being together in the months and years to follow.
Our time together was important.  We made it important.

In the past fourteen years, eight of these women have stayed close.
Really close.
I know that if I needed someone at two in the morning,
I could call upon any of these women and they would each be there for me.
We can be our whole selves with each other.
I have shared every part of myself with them.
Some I see frequently, to share a salad and the week's happenings.
Some I see once a month or less.
Whenever we are together, it is as if no time has passed.
We talk frequently through emails, texts and sometimes phone calls.

Over the years, we have each made other friends, chosen different paths,
experienced different life events.
We took what we became with each other,  and reached out through the years to others.
I have even reconnected with high school friends, and now that we are adults,
it seems easier to share out lives with one another.

Now, I know how very lucky I am.
I also know how much of myself I have invested in these friends over the years,
and they in me.
It was not easy all the time.
It is hard to share yourself with strangers to the point where you are not strangers.
You must not judge, you must keep their secrets and not gossip,
you must be available, you must listen, you must take the chance.
You must initiate any and all contact. 
Every time.

Yes, there are times when people just do not mesh.
Not everyone gets along with everyone.
It's ok to have friends who are just surface friends.
It's ok to end a friendship with someone you do not honestly enjoy spending time with.
However, you must work very hard at all relationships.
You must find opportunities to meet people with the same interests as yourself.
Take the chance.

I often find myself not wanting to go to dinner or meet up.
I make myself every time though, because I am never disappointed,
and I always, always, feel refreshed and uplifted after spending an hour with friends.

I am blessed.

PS...
I have wanted to start a meeting place for just this life situation.
Reach out to me if you are interested in diving into this life adventure.