As I was getting a weekend Starbucks for V and I,
I was looking at the young girl who was serving me.
She was in her late twenties and very pregnant.
I began to reminisce about my late twenties,
my youth, and my girls.
So much potential.
I watch my girls and their changing lives.
One daughter is moving, and starting basically all over,
to Austin TX after Christmas.
She just graduated with her masters in English lit
and wants to try her hand a writing.
I am so happy for her possibilities!
My youngest daughter is discovering who she is
and the plans that God has for her.
She is a great stylist, who I depend on for covering my grey hair,
and life is opening up in areas of youth ministry,
which thrills her heart, and mine!
I find myself longing for first loves, future possibilities, just plain future.
These days of being tired and achy and creaky are not fun.
It's not fun waking in the morning and having the sheet marks
last for hours rather than minutes.
Applying moisturizers, wrinkle minimizers, lotions, and cover ups,
to try and change what has taken 48 years to do.
I know this is not realistic, but I would like to slow the process as bit!
And I'm finding it harder every year to lose the weight and regain muscle tone.
And trying to find shoes that fit my "special feet"
is getting harder and less attractive as the years go on~!
Seeing friends' parents age and die, as well as my own family members.
Noticing seasons seem shorter, winters colder and summers hotter.
Menopause turning my thermometer lower in the house
is a contention with my daughters.
Being able to have a full day,
then go out at night until the wee hours is a thing of the past.
I then begin to think of my life now.
(And I know that I am very blessed, beyond my best dreams
It doesn't matter if I don't put make up on
or I wear my pink crocs and mom jeans to dinner.
My marriage is solid after years of working on it.
I am so grateful that I am not trying to hunt down a companion.
Bars were never my scene.
I am loving my relationship with God.
I miss spending time with Him if life becomes busy.
I am through my empty nest time, for the most part,
and am developing a different relationship with my daughters.
I am looking forward to spoiling grandchildren, not raising children.
Making snow ice cream with my grandbabies this past year was a highlight!
(This is a friend's baby...not my own grandbaby!)
I have friends who I can be my whole self with, with no masks or hidden agendas.
I have time to listen to and talk with friends for a s long as we want.
I have learned grace with friends and family.
I am enjoying discovering friendships with people
I once knew in high school.
People who I was never really close with because of all the games
played when you are that age, and don't know who you are.
We now see the commonalities that were not important back then.
I have figured out the things I enjoy and the things I do not.
I know what my gifts are and enjoy using them.
I am learning to say no to things that I am not gifted in.
(Yes, I am about to shear a sheep!)
And because of menopause, my electric bill is usually around $50!
I'll put a sweater on instead of turning the heat up, and I know the benefits of that!
I read a verse in a magazine that suits me well now:
"Forget what they say about the teenage years.
There is something about maturity that allows one the freedom to grow
without fear of reprisal or criticism
and that is huge."
I am blessed!
