Saturday, November 24, 2012

This is 48...


As I was getting a weekend Starbucks for V and I,
I was looking at the young girl who was serving me.
She was in her late twenties and very pregnant.
I began to reminisce about my late twenties,
my youth, and my girls.
So much potential.




















I watch my girls and their changing lives.
One daughter is moving, and starting basically all over,
to Austin TX after Christmas.
She just graduated with her masters in English lit
and wants to try her hand a writing.



I am so happy for her possibilities!




















My youngest daughter is discovering who she is
and the  plans that God has for her.
She is a great stylist, who I depend on for covering my grey hair,
and life is opening up in areas of youth ministry,
which thrills her heart, and mine!





















I find myself longing for first loves, future possibilities, just plain future.
 These days of being tired and achy and creaky are not fun.



















It's not fun waking in the morning and having the sheet marks
last for hours rather than minutes.
Applying moisturizers, wrinkle minimizers, lotions, and cover ups,
to try and change what has taken 48 years to do.
I know this is not realistic, but I would like to slow the process as bit!

















And I'm finding it harder every year to lose the weight and regain muscle tone.

And trying to find shoes that fit my "special feet"
is getting harder and less attractive as the years go on~!



















Seeing friends' parents age and die, as well as my own family members.





































Noticing seasons seem shorter, winters colder and summers hotter.
Menopause turning my thermometer lower in the house
is a contention with my daughters.

Being able to have a full day,
then go out at night until the wee hours is a thing of the past.


















I then begin to think of  my life now.
(And I know that I am very blessed, beyond my best dreams



















It doesn't matter if I don't put make up on
or I wear my pink crocs and mom jeans to dinner.



















My marriage is solid after years of working on it.
I am so grateful that I am not trying to hunt down a companion.
Bars were never my scene.




























I am loving my relationship with God.
I miss spending time with Him if life becomes busy.
I am through my empty nest time, for the most part,
and am developing a different relationship with my daughters.
I am looking forward to spoiling grandchildren, not raising children.

Making snow ice cream with my grandbabies this past year was a highlight!


 



















(This is a friend's baby...not my own grandbaby!)



I have friends who I can be my whole self with, with no masks or hidden agendas.
I have time to listen to and talk with friends for a s long as we want.
I have learned grace with friends and family.














I am enjoying discovering friendships with people
I once knew in high school.
People who I was never really close with because of all the games
played when you are that age, and don't know who you are.
We now see the commonalities that were not important back then.


















I have figured out the things I enjoy and the things I do not.
I know what my gifts are and enjoy using them.
I am learning to say no to things that I am not gifted in.














(Yes, I am about to shear a sheep!)


And because of menopause, my electric bill is usually around $50!
I'll put a sweater on instead of turning the heat up, and I know the benefits of that!


















I read a verse in a magazine that suits me well now:

"Forget what they say about the teenage years. 
There is something about maturity that allows one the freedom to grow
without fear of reprisal or criticism
and that is huge."

I am blessed!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Thankful #1 week

This first week of November, I am thankful for everything God has given me!
There. 
Now I don't have to do this silly thankful thing all month!

Really though, I am so thankful for His loving me.
I have spiritually grown so much these past two years.
I feel closer to Him, and feel His presence every day.
I see Him in my family,
my church,
my friendships,
nature,
and especially in the peace I have found that He is in control over everything!

My relationships in my neighborhood are growing,
and I am more comfortable reaching out to those around me.

I know that is kind of hard to believe, but deep inside,
I am really a shy person who gets freaked out
about having anything intelligent to say!
Ever since I was in first grade
and my answer to "what is this called:  1/2?"
I said one tooth.
Ya.
Seemed resonable..... one fouth, one fifth, one sixth, etc.

I have enjoyed learning about Him through my husband, friends, pastor and leaders.
I have enjoyed most every morning having the time to study His word,
and apply it to my life!
I have been blessed and led by the Holy Spirit , and through friends
to wade through all the  Christian studies out there,
to find which one is ment for me, at this moment in my life!
Every day I am being challenged to stretch what I have come to believe is the truth,
to what He is telling me is really the truth!

Every day is a gift!
Each day I ask Him to show me His plan for  me on this day.
Hopefully I am hearing and doing what He wants more and more.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Undescribable pain

What a morning I have had.
I am about to go into the privacy of my back yard,
surrounded by wind and trees and leaves,
where no one is around,
and rake, and bag up the old summer garden,
and sob from deep with myself.

If you do not have children, but plan to one day,
or your children are small,
please listen to a bit of wisdom from my experiences.
I feel that this will happen to any parent,
as it should.
It's the way of things.

When your children are small and they play sports,
softball, kickball, even T-ball,
they should win or lose.
None of this everyone wins BS.
A child must learn that life is not always going to turn out in their favor.
Life in this world hurts sometimes.
Kids are going to lose, they will get their feelings hurt,
and most kids I know, tease other kids.
It happens.
(Bullying should never happen and should be immediately delt with
in all manners possible!)

As a mom, your heart will hurt for these pains of your children.

When they get a bit older, their friends will take your place
in the life of your child.
You will be last on their list to spend time with,
Oh, they will need you and depend on you, and run to you to hold them,
but the fun stuff begins to turn from family board games on a Saturday night,
to sleepovers and dances, and just hanging out.

My best advice is to make sure you know who they are hanging out with,
know that there will be some kind of good adult presence,
let your kid know that you will be checking up on them....
even though they will hate this, and they will complain to their friends about
how over  bearing you are.
They will secretly, and unknowingly
be better off because you love them enough to do this.
(This is a lesson I learned too late!)

One day the kids will leave your home and you will be in an empty nest.
They will have significant others whom they will lean on most of the time,
they may move back home for a time,
but things will never be the same as when they were your children.
They will question every value that you have taught them.
They will go in the complete opposite direction than you have gone.
Politically, spiritually, health wise, food choices, entertainment...
you name it, they will go opposite from you.

And this is the way it must be.
I have heard, not in scripture, but that our children are only ours for a time.
We are to raise them, then release them, for they belong to God.

I agree with this. 
My daughters are their own people.
They suffer their own consequences.
I have made many mistakes while raising them.
I am still here for support and hugs,
but they make their own way in the world.
Hopefully they will turn to the Lord
as I am learning to do.
I pray that they become Godly women, who love and respect others,
and are graceful to those God puts in their path.

However, the growing part is painful.
I believe most especially for moms.
I believe it is more painful to a mom who has spent most of her life
caring for their every moment.
This is as it is supposed to be.

I am blessed with wonderful daughters who have their own minds and lives.
I pray that they learn sensitivity and follow God's path for their lives.
I pray for a personal relationship for them with Him.
I pray they feel loved and whole with Him.
Nothing else in this world is as important.
It is not religion, as the world like to corrupt,
but that one particular relationship.

So off I go into my yard, to sob.
To suffer through the growing pains of my children.
Do I love them too much?
I don't think so.
It is a hard thing to let them live their own lives.
I am learning too.
Just another part of life, no one tells you about.
This must be walked through too.
Again I say,  I yell:
I am blessed!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Four Bags Full

Today I went to my vet's farm in Lakeville IN
and he let me film and even participate in shearing of his Icelandic sheep!
Let me tell you, I was so excited I thought I was going to hurl....
better than any Christmas or holiday event that I can remember!
I could seriously now, go to meet my Maker a happy woman!
Well, besides becoming a grandma....but very close!

Dr. Rock has about 20 sheep,
way down from the 80 he had last year.
All but two are Icelandic.
The family has one cow, a few barn cats and a big old black lab named Rocky.
There are also broiler chickens, roosters and some banty hens.

Posted are two videos from YouTube...
I don't know how to edit, so unless you love sheep as much as I do,
this could be a boring video..
Fair warning.

http://youtu.be/4gBOnoZcO6U  me shearing a sheep
http://youtu.be/_CpCfPXISZw   sheep shearing
However here are some photos!

The Rock family moved here from Oregon about 7 years ago.
Both of their families raised sheep, and this is how the two of them met.
What a wonderful, warm; friendly family this is!
I brought four bags home full of wonderful fleeces to work on this winter.
I am hoping to spin some sock yarn for Mrs. Rock's sister before Christmas.
The black is from a lamb born in April and she has never been shorn before!
I can not even describe this fiber to you!
It's almost like cashmere, or very soft angora bunny!
I can hardly wait to work it up!
I am blessed!
And I really want my own flock and farm now Honey.....!

My friend Bruce

I have known Bruce almost my whole life.....
well, from high school on.
We went to the same college too....IUP  Indiana University of Pennsylvania
that is until I dropped out and moved to Texas with my family.
 
In High School, I could always count on Bruce for the best hugs anyone ever gave.
Seriously, I have never had a better hug!
He was always cheery, always sweet, always the friend you always wanted.
ALWAYS!
 
I know that after college Bruce had some difficulties, and we lost touch when I left school.
 Bruce is the one reason I love Facebook!
He and I are friends again.
He married a terrific lady, Ruth, and they have a son, Smith....
both of whom I have yet to meet, but that is on my bucket list.
 
He has written a book on alcohol recovery, "Understanding 12 Step Programs"
his web site:
 
He homeschools his son.
I admire this man so much!
He truly lives Christ and in such a loving way.
He is grounded.
He is funny.
He is supportive.
This is Bruce on the left, when we were in High School.
His friend Jan is the brother of an old beau of mine.
(How many lifetimes have I lived in this one life of mine?)
 
This is the post that greeted me on Facebook this morning!
 

 
 
 
Bruce Brown Hey - its me your friend Bruce :) I have been seeing a lot of negative things on FB and wanted you to have something positive to focus on ;) You have at least one friend - ME. Here I am smiling and winking at you. Whatever problems you run into today, God cares and can help. If you see something beautiful, feel free to tell Him that you like it :) Have a great day.
 
I have shared this with all of my FB friends.
Enjoy your day!
Know that Bruce and I are on your side!
I am so glad he is on mine!
I am blessed!

 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Who's the crazy one, I ask you.


While trying to find things to do with myself,
hoping that the vet will call,
which means he is shearing sheep today
and I can come participate...
I decided to run to the grocery store.
As I was checked out and walking towards the exit,
Krogers had set up a table with cookies near by.
I was avoiding them, so I was as far to the right
near the registers as I could get.
There was an older lady on the opposite side of the table,
I believe replenishing the cookies,
as I had seen her when I entered the store.

Well, there was also a lady heading towards me, between me and the table.
I assumed she was just getting to the store and stopping for a sweet.
She banged her cart into the table.
She backed up,
and banged her cart into the other woman's cart.
Then the colorful language started flying!
"Of course everyone has to get into my (*&^(&*U%R)*&^ way today!"
I grimaced and tried to exit as quickly as I could.
I had a thought to tell her it would be ok,
but this was a fleeting thought.

As I was putting groceries into the trunk,
I noticed bad mood, putting her groceries into her trunk.
Then I noticed her heading out of the parking lot,
but her trunk was open.
As she flew by me, I decided not to mention her trunk to her.
She stopped a little ways away, got out and closed the trunk.
By this time, I was in the exit lane to her left.  I waited for her to leave,
because I was was pretty sure she would not stop
let alone look to see if anyone was coming.
And she didn't.
As she blew through the stop sign and someone was leaving from getting gas,
Grumpy laid on her horn and started giving this car the finger with both hands.
Even after she was at the light exiting Krogers, she was letting the bird fly freely.
Well, I decided I needed to follow her home, just in case there was an accident.
I followed her onto McKinley, then we turned onto Logan,
and she turned onto a side street past Jefferson.
I was asking myself what would happen if there was an accident?
What would I say let alone do?

I was about 4 car lengths behind her with no one between us.
I saw her left turn signal, then she changed her mind and turned right.
I thought maybe she had seen the Gold Granny Van and knew she was being followed.
So I passed her street and went up a block.
I was scared.
I was also searching for her on the following blocks
but she had disappeared.

My lucky day, I hoped, and thought that I was indeed crazy
for following her in the first place!

As I went home, there was an accident at my turn on McKinley and Manchester.
Cops were already there, but one car involved was in the lane as I would have turned,
and another car was going the opposite direction, but I could not get through.
I was half turned and stopped, praying crazy lady wouldn't slam into the back of me.
As I eventually made the turn, as the driver was getting back into her car,
I saw her face.
She was very upset, and looked like she was going to have a melt down
as soon as she got into her car.

"What exactly are You trying to tell me/show me Lord?"
I said a quick prayer that this young girl realized
it was only the front headlight and bumper that was damaged,
that crazy lady was home safe, taking her medication, and that she had a better evening
and that my bank teller was out of pain from her dental work, as she could not take medications
because of  other meds she was on.

I sit now, waiting patiently, again for the vet to call me.
Should I call?
If he doesn't call, is that a sign I should stay put in my safe home,
and don't use any sharp knives to cut ANYTHING?!
I'll stay away from my bone chewing squirrels, and attack sparrows too.

I am so blessed!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

forward


My daughter is a writer.
I have enjoyed reading and proofing her writings for many many years.
I have so loved seeing her skills grow.
Her body of work change.
Her dreams grow and flourish.

I recognise in her, the matured version of my own dreams.
She is about to begin her life.
I haven't read her thesis yet.
She won't let me until it is completed.
She wrote about her life growing up.
Her selected memoirs.
She had shown me a few short snippets,
and they warm my heart.
I assume that she has also written some unflattering things,
but I look forward to her "take" on life.
The life she lived.
I know I was and am not perfect.
None of us are.
That may have bothered me one moment long ago.
Now I understand that people live their lives through their eyes.
I do the best I can with what I can,
and leave the rest for others to live.

I crave for my writer to create more Carl.
The lovable, sad, beautiful six toed monster that I can see.
He needs to be a children's book series,
and an adult novel.
I dream of Carl.

I love the book groups I made the girls join
at Barnes and Noble when we homeschooled.
I loved teaching creative writing
to the eight children in our homeschool group.
I loved reading the Borrowers, Trumpet of the Swan and the Goodnight Book
every night to the girls before bed.

She is my hero.
Stepping out into a new life.
Exploring and facing her fears, and dreams.
Not being afraid to be alone in a new city,
try for what she believes she can do,
and what she loves to do.

I won't tell you where to find her writings,
that is for her to divulge,
but I follow her in my blogroll.
You have to hunt a bit,
to find all the works and thoughts she is inspired to write.
There are more than one.
If you do discover her though, you will not be disappointed.
You will be as eager as I for her to succeed.
To live in her world for a time.
In her words and thoughts and future.

Fly away little sparrow, spread your wings, discover who you can be.
I have my eyes wide open and my heart as well!
I am your biggest fan!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Rainy Days and Hopscotch

I walked the dog in the rain just now.
Well, not rain,
but enough mist that I had to carry an umbrella.
A small white umbrella with multi colored polka dots.

My neighbors already think I'm nuts,
so this will add to the fire.
I only walked him now,
because I gave him a bath when we got home!

As we walked around the block,
the house that is as far away from me on the circle I can get,
the one that is always decorated seasonally,
(I used to be that house when the kids were small,
I long to do that again, and tell myself
when there are grandbabies around I will),
lives a young woman who is always sitting by the front door
in a folding lawn chair,
talking on her cell phone,
who smiles and tells me I can put Chuck's poop bag in her garbage.
She has three kids, all under highschool age.
The little girl, I would guess is ten.
She is not allowed to play with the little girl across the street
unless they play in her yard.
Mom doesn't like the parents.

I looked down at the rainy sidewalk,
and smiled at the remains of a slightly crooked hopscotch board.


For a fleeting moment, I wanted to toss a stone and play.
My feet and wise mind told me to think again.

However I began thinking of hopscotch, my elementary school,
and rain.

There was an elaborate hopscotch board
painted behind the school in the playground.
It was huge and hard.
It had at least 30 numbered squares, and we all loved playing.
We would draw a regular board near the big one,
in case it was full up that day with children faster than we were.
I have looked and tried to remember how that board was drawn,
so I could share it with my kids.
No luck.
I wonder if it is still there.
I'll have to check when I go back to Pittsburgh some day.

Thinking of that playground started my brain to whirl with memories.
I remember playing Chinese jump rope.
Remember the one with the stretchy circle of a rope that two people
put on each ankle, then the third had to jump in and on and out of the circle,
each time the rope would get higher and higher
until the sequence was messed up.


We also were very good at double jump rope, with the songs that went with them.
Do children even play these games anymore?

This brought me to remember the circle monkey bars.
Not so much the bars as one particular friend.
The taunt "Martha Lou wears Winnie the Pooh"
sticks in my head.
Poor little girl!

I would pay anyone to make a pair of Winnie the Pooh underwear in my size!
Children are so mean.
Martha Lou became a Rochette in high school though.
One of the popular teens.
Her childhood taunts didn't get in her way,
or they helped her to get where she was.
I always remember her as being very nice, even in high school.

I got my first kiss hiding from the downpour of rain
in the "castle" of the play ground.

I remember swinging as high as we could on the swings,
then daring to jump off, even though we were strictly told not to
by the playground guardian.

I took tennis lessons in the summer at my elementary school courts.
It was so hot!

I remember a cake walk at the end of the school picnic. 
I won a goldfish.
I think everyone won a goldfish.
No one would be there during the summer to take care of them,
so this was the best prize.


I remember playing farmer in the dell in a big circle of my class,
in the front of the school.

I remember playing with the parachute in the gym.
How fascinated I was sitting under that colorful fabric,
just waiting for it to float down over me.

I remember playing some kind of ball, but we had to sit on scooters.
Do you remember those scooters?
Little square pieces of wood, no more than two inches off of the floor?

I remember going to the school on the weekends with my sister
and hitting tennis balls on the wall outside of the gym.
There were no windows on that big brick expanse.
We played until all of the balls were lost on top of the flat roof.

Bob, the old crossing guard, was there until after I ended High School
Such a sweet old man.

I remember having a party for my first grade teacher who had been out sick for months.
A girlfriend, Beth Mack and I, made up a skit, using the
All in the Family Theme song.
Why we ever chose this song, I have no idea...but it was fun!

We spent hours on a sign made up with copy paper.
Welcome Back Mrs. Hoffman...each letter on a separate page,
colored with flowers, and squiggles, taped all around the room.

I loved elementary school!
I love remembering.
I hope children today are making great memories!

I am blessed!

Monday, October 1, 2012

I've been away too long...

Larkspurfunnyfarm
Farm-tales
Shopdog
unautrejoursolitaire
savylunabugg
all of these   @.blogspot.com

I seem to have been very busy doing nothing these past weeks.
Today I sat my butt down and paid bills,
scheduled things on my calendar,
and read the blogs I have not had time to read.
All the above make me happy.
I subscribe to many, but these few caught my attention.
I could spend hours living vicariously in these words written by others.
Most of whom I have never met.
Some of which I am very close.

I was feeling a bit down yesterday, and old.
I took a fall drive and so enjoyed the early changing colors.
These are the  colors you notice most.
The earliest colors.
As most everything is still a fading green,
when you see the brilliant reds and oranges  sprinkled inbetween,
you really take time to notice them!

After walking around for a couple of hours at an antique show,
my feet began hurting alot.
I go to the foot doc on Wednesday,
after getting a cortizone shot three weeks ago.
It helped a little.
Not as much as I had hoped for.
I am fearful that doc is going to want to do surgery.
Way too much going on until after the first of the year,
so my plan is to pamper my poor lil feet until then.

My slight depression happened when I realized
that I may NOT be able to someday have a small farm.
I so want a little place with a few chickens, a few sheep,
a few goats and maybe an alpaca and llama.
Somewhere to retire to, with fall colors, coolish summers,
lots of water in a stream or beach close by.
A place we build to house all the grandbabies,
that will hopefully someday come into our lives.
If not, then a place to host friends for a quiet time in nature and beauty.

It's a bitch (sorry) getting old....
I will be content wherever I am supposed to be.
Take one day at a time.
And dream a little bit of the future.
And read words of other's adventures.

I am blessed.

Monday, September 17, 2012

What's a Banana to do?

We just started a Modern Family series at church.
I relate to many of the themes so far.
One that I don't understand much, is the Step/divorced/rivalry/confusion thing.

Yes, I am a step mom and and step grandma (banana)
My husband was divorced and had a son before me.
He was five years old when we stopped seeing him.
...way too much drama behind this one, but it was not our choice to be separated)
We saw the kid again, when he was 14.
Had some fun summers with him bonding with my girls in Alabama.
They are all pretty close now, as step kids go.
He has two children, boy and girl, whom I adore!!!
Head over heels in love with these grandbabies...

However because of some past and present issues,
Step son's mom is uncomfortable with me,
and her relationship with daughter in law
reminds me of my own monster in law experiences.

The problem arises, that the grandbabies are in a football game,
and a pagent the same weekend in October.
As it turns out, I cannot afford the weekend jaunt,
and plan on seeing them in January
when my oldest moves to Texas.

But the step son, before knowing this,
did not want me to come because it might make his mom uncomfortable.

Now, I would NEVER make anyone uncomfortable, say anything mean spirited,
or even make a funny face at someone, who I know is uncomfortable to begin with.
Any of you that know me, know this.

I am just praying that someday, I will be able to participate in plays,
sports games, graduations and weddings.....
especially if my and the hubby retire to Texas.

Until then, I will continue to send letters, gifts and love in the mail.
I will enjoy every moment I am with them.
I will encourage my daughter in law to mend/or at the least tolerate her mother in law.
And I will continue to pray for the ex that she feels loved and respected,
and never feels any threat from me, as she never has had reason to.

I am blessed with the love of the grandbabies no matter what or how often I do see them!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Change

Change is very hard for me.
Especially changing cable, phone, Internet, and other household things.
I hear horror stories and it freaks me out.
So, I end up paying way to much for things for too long because of that fear.
I think we have been with Comcast for at least ten years and probably longer.
I tried to get the comcast bundle, but they wouldn't let me keep my email address.
Oh my!
That was a week from hell for me!
I have had this address longer than I have had comcast!
It took me forever to change to sbcglobal from aol.
We had aol in Alabama when you could first get internet in your home.
My hubby is a techno geek, so we had the first internet in our bitty town!

Well, I got a flyer from ATT in the mail and their bundle will save me about $125
a month.  I already have their phone and internet,
so I am calling them now to set up a time to switch my cable.
My knees are knocking.
Wish me luck and that all goes well with the takeover.
It's gonna be a stressful month or two, I can just tell.

So how come it's so easy for me to let God take over way more troublesome problems?
I know He can handle silly things like cable and He wants me to be happy.
Jumping in Jesus!
Give me peace, even about this silly stuff.

Blessed I am!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Quick Right Turn

Well, after having a cuppa this morning
and reading a few short chapters of a memoir,
I totally changed my plans for this weekend,
from what I had stated in yesterday's blog.

Oh, I got tons of work done yesterday,
and when I finally looked up from the books and computer,
it was 5:30pm
Maybe it was that I HAD done some much,
that I feel I can divert a bit of energy in another direction.

First, what an absolutely beautiful morning it was!
70's and sunny with a little breeze!
After I dropped of Mema to school,
I went to South Bend Chocolate for coffee.
I also had and egg and cheese bagel.
I sat outside under an umbrella and read a bit of the
entertainment section of the Chicago Tribune.
Looks like some interesting movies coming out!
The bike riding delivery boy....titles escape me.....looks great,
and so does one called Robot and Frank.
I love sentimental movies and this one sounds like I'll need some tissues.
I hope it opens here in South Bend.
The Art Beat in SB is also this weekend.
V and I will wander around with a cuppa and take in the sights early in the morning.

But, my direction changer came while I was reading Sheepish by Catherine Friend.
"Two women, fifty sheep and enough wool to save the planet"
Her writing had me giggling and smiling and dreaming of a farm future for myself!
Yes, I am quirky and my hobbies are so very unlike anyone I know,
but I also know that I am perfect just the way I am,
and God has a plan for all my quirkiness!

"But because we produce wool, we now and then brush elbows
with spinners, knitters, weavers, people who are,
in my opinion, truly freakish and exotic.  So when I say fiber "fans",
I confess that I really mean "freaks."  ...
A fiber fan will spend hours and hours knitting a wool sock - a sock, people - 
when there are machines out there able to manufacture
a perfectly fine pair of wool socks for under $20. 
There's even a "Sock Summit" with the motto: 
"Taking Sock Knitting Almost Too Far." 
Forget Extreme Snowboarding, or Extreme Mountain Biking. 
Recently, when the online registration for this Extreme Knitting event began,
40,000 people tried to register and crashed the system."


Yes, that sounds about right.
For those of you who do not have the freakish love for fiber,
you will never understand this.
For those of you who are freaks, you know exactly what this means.

It's like when I told my friends how I had made yogurt,
over a 12 hour period of time.
The look on their faces was priceless, as was their comment:
"You know you can go get yogurt from the store."
But they love me and understand I have different passions than they.
We believe, it's what makes us so close.
Understanding without judging, and accepting in love.
So as I was researching different sheep breeds, I discovered the Jacob.
A small sheep, that is spotted and can have 2, 4, even 6 horns.
Named for the sheep Jacob of the Bible asked his father in law for.




















You remember, he asked for the imperfect spotted sheep out of the flock
for payment of his years of work,
and  in a dream God told him to breed only the spotted rams.
He soon had all spotted sheep!
Lo and behold, I have a Jacob fleece!
So, now I am washing fleece...(and dishes)
and will be spinning and knitting a sample for my class!














Have a blessed week everyone!
Find joy in your walk every moment!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Bookwork.

This is definately why I did not finish my college education.
I am holed up in my house with piles of books,
computer and an assignment.

There are so many other things that I would like to be doing today!
Gardening, as it has been very neglected this year,
washing and spinning some wool for an assignment,
(I have ten sheep to "red up" before next year.)
Cleaning my house...again neglected for too long,
and I have a party a week from today,
so I could also be making a menu and grocery list for cooking.
I could go to the gym, but it really is too beautiful today.
(Any excuse will get me to pass on a day at the gym!)
I have been wanting to go to the Brookfield Zoo again, for a few years now.
I would love to stay in the gorilla area all day and take them in.
Chuck definatly needs some attention,
as I have been traveling or ill for the past few months.

But, no.
I have chosen today (this week/month)
to get all (most) of my research and paperwork done
for my level one master spinner course.
To Do List:
History of wool
10 different types of sheep
Sheep shearing
Types of wool preparation and processing
Labels for the yarn samples
Spinning wheel maintenance and proper spinning posture
Differences between woolen and worsted preparation
Glossery of Terms

Thank goodness I have the dyed part 80% completed.
So, if I seem grumpy or frazzled, it's because I HATE researching and writing papers!
Maybe I could get my english lit master to help me out...
other than just showing me how to set up my computer
for double spacing!
Thanks V!
Blessed to have the opportunity even if I'm not happy about it!

Friday, August 3, 2012

What a bright light!


Yup,
I should be cleaning the house
that has been successfully avoided for two weeks...
(one, I was out of town,
one just didn't feel like it after being out of town!)
I should be sitting with my feet up
as they are swollen and hurting.
Probably because I not only mowed my lawn, but the neighbor's too.
It just didn't look right with their lawn as long as mine used to be.
It was ok when both of us hadn't mowed for two weeks :)

So, instead of doing these things,
I took some time out with the Lord.
I am still studying Max Lucado's
Experiencing the Love of Jesus.
Yesterday was about asking for forgiveness of my sins.
How important that is.
How God can only work in a field that is prepared.

But today,
today was on love!
Max, I call Mr. Lucado Max.
Seems I have known him for years!

Max, suggested a thing called the 7/47 principle.
It is based on Luke 7:47
"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven -
for she has loved much.
But he who has been forgiven little, loves little."

This got me to thinking...my simple mind as it is.
Does that mean he has not sinned much?
He doesn't have anything to confess?
Therefore he will not love much?

As I pondered a bit more,
I began thinking of the middle school camp LSC participated in last week.
My youngest was a counselor there,
and I believe she received more than the kids did!
But, some of the children's stories broke her heart
and as she shared with me, broke mine too.
Some of these kids have lived terrible, lonely, hurtful, terrifying lives.
How are they supposed to know the love of God, when their own fathers
are not even in their lives?
When we experience great forgiveness and love ourselves,
we are able to love others all the more.
However, if we have yet to realize the weight of our own sins,
and do not feel loved or forgiven by anyone,
let alone God,
we will not be able to love others at all.
We can't give what we have never received.
I am angry at these situations.
How are these beautiful young people ever to know the joy and peace,
love and forgiveness, of such an awesome God,
if their little minds have never known love at all?
As I was stewing over this,
I continued to read.
These parents probably had hard lives themselves.
They never knew love, so how could they show love?
It first starts with letting God love us.

Then the light went on!
The key to forgiving others
is to quit focusing on what they did to me
(or their kids)
and start focusing on what God did for me!
But that's not fair!  Someone has to pay!

Well, my friends, someone already did.

That's what hit me.
I know that I am forgiven!
I know that Christ died for me.
But God has also already forgiven those who have wronged those kids.
HE ALREADY FORGAVE THEM!
Jesus paid the price for their ugliness!
He paid!
God is fair!
Someone already paid.
So if they are forgiven, why am I angry at them?
My job now is to love on the kids and also love on the parents.

Like this whole Chick Filet fiasco.
What is with the big hoopla?
Someone has an opinion.
We all have opinions.
I don't expect you to agree with my opinion,
and most of the time I don't agree with yours,
but Grace instructs me to let you have a different opinion.
And love you anyway.
I am so embarrassed by all the so called Christians
who are hurting so many by their words and actions.
I apologize for those who are acting in the name of Jesus.
They are not acting for my Jesus or for me.
My Jesus loves and forgives and accepts everyone.
EVERYONE!
So as I ramble and ramble again,
I will shuffle off to get my nails done,
since Hil is back from camp.
How have I gotten so spoiled?!
I pray that all of you know true love
and then show love to everyone around you.
I am blessed!


Sunday, July 29, 2012

Olds college final day

I was tired.
My throat was back to hurting.
All the bags were packed again in the van.
A few extra bags had mysteriously appeared.
Good thing I brought the mini van!

I arrived to class under cloudy skies.
It had rained and stormed quite a bit that last night.
I was not looking forward to the 3 hour drive home at 5pm.

We took a classroom test that I did ok on.
I forgot the two types of spinning wheel types:
Saxony

Upright
I have an upright.
I did remember the parts of the spinning wheel when labeling tho!

                                                

I was worried about this one.
The menopausal memory is crap.

After we graded and passed in our exams and evaluations,
our instructor talked about her passion for silk!
I understand that unknown until now fiber source.

She showed us cocoons with the worms still inside...
rattling around, dead of course.
She showed us her 12 strand 2 ply silk yarn she spun
and was knitting a beautiful lace shawl with.
I learned what a wondrous thing silk hankies are~
(flattened out cocoons into 8-10 layers of squares
which you stretch out across the room and spin with.)

We blended merino top with tussah and bombyx silk top.
(top is parallel fibers in a long roving)
I spun the best skeins I had spun all week!
Pictures of the differences hopefully tomorrow!

We all went to Mr. B's for lunch.
The ham and pea soup with grilled cheese sandwich was just what I needed.
Chatting about our dogs, homes, and funny stories was just a way to end the week.

When we got back, two of our classmates had baked cupcakes
for the class the night before.
They had asked who liked coconut, and I said I was allergic,
but not to worry about it....diet you know!
Well, I must tell you that those sweet friends made 4 cupcakes
with no coconut frosting.
AND there was one cupcake surrounded by its coconut free friends
so that no allergens could contaminate it!

A level 5 student came to our class and shared with us
her assignment books from levels one and three.
HOLY MOLY!
I have a lot of work to do this year!
We took a class photo and hugged and started a ravelry class page,
shared emails, and are so looking forward to being classmates next year
and for the next five years!

I drove home, hurting and exhausted, and very happy to see Hil and Chuck!
I tried to watch a bit of the Olympic opening ceremonies.....but.....ya.
I slept very well, and am ready to begin preparing for my studies.
So much fun and learning!

I appreciate Hil and hubby with as much interest as they can have.
It's hard really, when no one close to you shares your interest.
I have accepted that my classmates and one or two friends
know and understand my passion.
I know that at the end of this six year adventure, I will be a master spinner.
I am looking forward to improving my knowledge and skill level.
If only for myself.
That is enough for me.
I am blessed!