You don't own me

People change.
Sometimes it's a good thing.
Sometimes it wasn't a good thing to begin with.

Sad today.
Hopefully it will change back, in a new, better way!

Here's to loving and trying to change.

Midwest Fiber and Folk

As an empty nest mom, non career woman,
supported by her very hard working man,
I feel very blessed.
About five years ago,
I took up my long addiction to fiber.
Hubby sent me to Minnesota for a long weekend
to learn how to spin yarn.
And he bought me my first ever spinning wheel!

Every year since then, he has encouraged me to take more classes,
dive into my passion, and enjoy!

This past weekend I did just that!

I drove to Grayslake, Illinois where I attended three classes
at the Midwest Fiver and Folk Festival.
I first stopped in at IKEA, since I was so close!
Love that place!
I only bought a small mixing bowl, a new dish drainer,
a summer duvet cover and a picnic table, bench and two chairs
for my parents 50th wedding anniversary present.
Not bad. Go outta there for under $200!

When I arrived at my hotel, in Lincolshire,
I was very impressed!

Huge King sized bed, separate living/kitchen area, dressing area and shower/bathroom.
I felt just like Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman,
rolling around that big bed, kicking my legs in the air!
I never did get a chance to sing Prince in the hot tub,
as there was an very amorous couple frolicking there.

The next morning I went to the fairgrounds in Grayslake.
I never knew there was so much country land near Chicago.
Thank you God for GPS on my phone!

My first class was softcore spinning with Jacey Boggs.
(Look for an interview with her on Talesfromthecraft.com coming soon)

I have been drooling over this young woman's yarn for years.
She is sweet, funny, very talented and a great teacher.
We learned to wrap fiber around a core material.
At first it was cotton lace weight tread.
Then she taught us her very own invention!
We spun two very thin singles,
and wrapped them while plying them together!
A very pretty, balanced, nicely draping yarn!

I can hardly wait to begin my own,
as I have lots of Romney left that will become my core!

The next day was the natural dye class, with Stefania Isaacson.
What an easy going, wonderful, knowledgeable women!
Too bad a few of my classmates were horrible and distracting.

We did, however, make extracts from Lily of the Valley, Queen Ann's Lace,
Peppermint...oh ya, it smelled wonderful in that classroom!...,
Golden Margarete, and Quobrocho Yellow.

After these steeped for an hour, we dyed three skeins each of white wool.
After another hour, we had twenty five different, yellow skeins.
We then over dyed one skein of each yellow
in Madder, which turned the skein orange,
and one yellow skein in Indigo, which turned the yellow skein green.
...that's right!
I got to dye with indigo!
Imagine anything turning blue from this swampy green!?


We dyed some raw fleece, coopworth,
in indigo as well as three more skeins
for different shades of blues.
I have never had more fun!
I had always wanted to try dying with indigo,
but was intimidated. I had heard that you need to set out a vat,
monitor the ph carefully, and add urine when needed.

Chemistry and Science have come a long way baby!
No more prepubescent boys peeing in our dye, except in extreme emergencies!
I bought a kit, and I won the stock indigo in the class lotto!

You will be seeing many blue things
coming from my kitchen and wheel now, you betcha!

The last day, Stefania taught my last class on how to spin for socks.
She of course had 4 oz to give to each of us,
of her beautifully hand dyed coopworth.
It took me a few minutes to figure out how to spin such fine singles,
but after learning a new technique, and switching drafting hands,
I became more confident!
The plying trick I learned for a balanced yarn made me squeal!

(These are rovings to be spun into socks)
Over all, I had a wonderful experience.
I have been washing my icelandic, so as to dye with,
and practicing my sock spinning this weekend.
That is after cuddling with the puppy,
and mowing the knee high grass!

I am blessed!
Oh Ya, in ten years I am beginning to dream about this baby wolf loom!

saying goodbyes for now

I am incredibly sad today.
No, nothing tragic has happened.
I think everything is just collapsing on me
and it is catching up.
Popping a xanex so I won't sob.

I spent the afternoon with Mema today
at the mall watching all the little kids.
There were a gazillion of them there today.
School is out and there were big kids who were very loud,
tiny little 2 month old babies,
and everything in between.
We had so much fun!
Mommies and daddies and kiddos were talking to us.
Really very sweet.

As mom has broken two ribs on top of her already
broken shoulder, there really is nothing Mema can do to help.
Daddy gets a bit irritated with her constant, same questions....
like: can I help, what do you want me to do,
so they just let her come home?

I talked to my sis today and she talked to my aunt.
This coming Wednesday, I am taking Mema to the airport
so she can fly all by herself to Florida to stay for a bit.
I am going to miss her so very much.
I am afraid she won't be coming back to South Bend.
Irrational, I know, but thoughts are thoughts.

It will be the best, because I can't take care of my mommy.,
and her mommy too.
And my mommy is needing some attention and care.

Folks around me seem to be losing or caring for folks now too.
Maybe that is rubbing off since I am praying for their losses too.
My ribs still hurt.
Because of my other family responsibilities,
I am unable to participate in the beginning of Recess at LSC.
I hope I can help the second 3/4 of the program.

Just a very sad day, I suppose.
I know that God has His plan and it is perfect.
I just wish I understood what it is.
He is good all of the time, and I know this.
So, Mema leaving for a bit is a good thing.

I'll start writing more of Mema's Memories blog
and keep her with me even on her vacation!

Blessed...yes, feel it, not really right now.

mama

What can I say?
My mom is in some kind of competition with me.
After bruising my ribs yesterday,
she went home and not only bruised her ribs,
but may have broken her pelvis.
She wins....hands down!

We don't really know the extent of it all yet,
waiting on doctors is.......
I've grown and don't use those words in print anymore!

She may have to go to rehab for a bit.
My sister may come for a bit.
My mema may visit her youngest in Florida for a bit.

Taking deep breaths is what I need to do, but today,
I still find that difficult.

Prayers are appreciated.
SO is bubble wrap!

Yes, that's mom on the right, mema on the left.
Mom recently fell and broke her shoulder..thus the sling.
Now that she has healed a bit,
and is DRIVING again,
she is holed up again.
There may be lots of Coldstone this summer for us!

Thanks
K

too busy to be clumsy

I think I broke a rib today.
Well, maybe bruised a few...
too early to tell.
Hard to take a breath.

I was trying to set up the timer to water the Unity garden.
The garden is kind of precarious to say the least.
Bumpy and uneven in a lot of places.
Now add that I can't feel my feet...
whether I am on solid ground or not is a challenge.
So, when my foot twisted, I fell onto my knees,
and rolled.
Isn't that what you are supposed to do?
I landed on my right arm which landed on the underwire in my bra,
which had all of me on top of all of this.
I just lay there for a few minutes.
At least until the sprinkler came back around and got me.

Taking a breath is difficult.
Nothing to do but watch and take care.

Guess I will now have time to finish Hil's sweater
and a mystery shawl I am working on with a yahoo group.


That exercise program, gardening, cleaning, etc
that I had planned will had to wait and see as well!

At least I had a great breakfast time with V at LePeeps before
I tumbled.
Love that old girl of mine.
24 years old yesterday!

She is my calm, sweet girl.
We love reading at Barnes and Nobels,
sharing any kind of coffee,
taking vacations together...at least I do with her.
I think I get on her nerves sometimes whilst exploring a new place.
She seems to hate when I talk to strangers on a bus.

(Fremont troll in Seattle...don't know the girl on his shoulder)

We share a dream of opening a b&b somewhere....
we are the Gilmore girls!
We always looked for cameras in our home after each episode.

Neither of us have very good hearing and because of this,
we each have really screwy nicknames for each other.
LWAV and OWTP
Let your imaginations go wild.

I don't agree with her on everything, but we are working through that.
She is such a together, forward moving, hard working, sweet girl!
She has an unnatural obsession with shoes,
and loves to cook very healthy delicious food.


I just love being her mom!
Thank you God for lending her to me for a bit!

I am bruised but blessed!

Sunday

Day of rest....
or for me, the day to mow the lawn.
I rest when I mow, and work in the yard.
Always have.
The humidity has been unbearable,
and the mosquitoes have been horrid,
so I have not spent much time outside.
The sermon this morning was "powerful"
I love my church.

I planted beans and lettuce today.
The peppers and tomatoes seem to be doing well.
Going to try to find some squash this week.
I am going to try to stop into farmers market
at lease once a week through this season.
I want to can alot this year,
as I loved it so last year
and have enjoyed the fruits of my labor
in chilies and veggies as sides.

Lots going on this week.
Meetings at church and studies,
weeding the unity garden,
my second diagnostic mammogram and ultra sound
on Tuesday,
my oldest turns 24 on the 12th,
and we are painting and packing her up for a move July 1.
Terry is hopefully coming home this weekend.
Maybe his mood will be better than it has been.
There is peach ice cream and a bbq to look forward to,
so there is a good possiblitly.
If not, he has his comfy truck to sleep in...LOL

I have been itching to get out the spinning wheel,
but will wait until the classes at the end of the month
are a bit closer.
I need to wash some icelandic, but cannot do anything else that day,
as it takes some concentrated time if not thought.

Hill and I bought way to many berries this week,
so I am trying to come up with a cobbler or something similar.
It's too hot to cook,
and the grill burner needs replacing.
I have the parts, just not the motivation.
After digging out and cleaning the vacuum yesterday,
I think I'll finish the book I started.

I am blessed,
even when I don't feel like it!

Shout out to the care takers

I know you are hurting.
I know that you are not where you want to be.
I know it is depressing dealing
with all of this uncertainty.

But I must interject in this format,
because you do not need, or want to hear it from me.

It is difficult being the one worrying and caring for you.
All you have to do is concentrate on getting better.

We, the caretakers, must worry about you,
stress about your care and meds, if you are sleeping,
cooking what you will possibly eat,
to find a fluffy pillow, or the correct temperature,
or the remote control,
not to mention all the other daily things
in our own lives that must be accomplished,
including taking care of your stuff for you,
since you can't right now.

Oh, don't get me wrong.
It is a blessing being able to care for you.
Please understand however,
that it is almost more taxing on the caretaker to give care,
than the ill to heal.
I believe the mental stress is more tiring.

So, if I snap, or look distressed,
it is not that I do not want to care for you.
Please do not add that stress to me.
Just let me fume, or sit in the bathroom
a moment longer than necessary.
I need to regroup so I can focus more on you.

Funny, but it seems that we are needed more often than not
when we are really tired in the first place.
I know I put alot on my plate to begin with.
Maybe this is a lesson for me to declutter some.
Strength comes when it is needed, and I am blessed.
This too shall pass.

PRUNING!

Ya.
Today may have not been the best day to prune the lilac bush.
With how frustrated and angry I am feeling.....

Something that has given me so much joy the past few years,
needed to be pruned back a bit.
A bit.
I didn't really plan today.
Just started whacking away!
The more I cut,
the more seemed to need to be cut.
And I feel oh, so much better now.

I'm sweaty, and itchy, and hot,
but what has been long over due is now done.
There is just something about whacking
that makes you see things differently.
There are things I can control,
and things I cannot.
Things I see so very clearly,
but not everyone can see from my perspective.
So I come home and prune.

I wonder if God ever feels frustrated with us
when it comes to pruning time?
There are certainly things that need to be cut out,
whacked back, trimmed, pulled,
yanked and taken out of our lives.
The things we hang on to so tightly,
things we think make us happy,
things that ultimately will kill off the healthy parts of us.

We need room to breathe, grow, stretch,
even if we fight it with every ounce of energy.

But when it is done?
We may sting a bit from the shears.
The winter comes,
and we slowly bud out again in new directions.
We are able to produce even sweeter smelling flowers
that we were unable to bring forth before our pruning.

So, I know that my little bush may be a sight now.

But I am so looking forward to it's flowers next spring!
And I'm ready to finish mulching now....
then a long hot shower!

It's a mother...

I am planning on not much rest tonight.
My baby's boyfriend is in the er.
He has been sick for almost a month
and no one can figure out why.
Blood tests and ultra sounds and waiting.

I hate it when my kids are off.
And this is the first time she is off because of a fella.
Still not a good feeling.
Actually it feels the same.

Praying and researching and pacing.

Wish I could offer more.

Prayers appreciated, warriors.