Musings of a Mama

These past few days
I have wished for grandchildren.
(Not for my own selfish reasons,
which I have plenty)
but for the joy it would bring, knowing that my own two daughters
would feel the wracking of the soul they cause to me!

( I realize now that I have caused my own mother such grief...sorry mommy)

Life changes so often and many things are so short lived.
I have a friend who has a new baby.
Her recent post listed many things she one day will do again...
such as use cloth napkins, do laundry and entertain!
I remember those days.
I remember trying to entertain some friends when my first daughter was under a year.
She went to bed well, but the habit was to wake three times
for mommy and me cuddle time.
I had to pull myself away from adult time and
learned to enjoy those quiet, precious times.
Something about those sweet little eyes looking up at you with so much love.
At that moment in time,
no friendship ever came close.

There are so many mistakes I made over the past 25 years.
And I am sure I will make many more.

If I could offer any advice at all:
Know who your children really are as best you can.
Know who your children's friends are.
Pick and choose their friends until they are in high school.

And ALWAYS check up on your children
by physically going to where they are supposed to be!
Do this at least three times, so your kids are so freaked out at getting caught,
that they think twice about doing something they should not.
Offering advice and wisdom when your offspring are in their twenties however,
is more difficult.
I keep reminding my husband and myself, that we were the same way at the same age.
Twenty somethings know everything, no harm can ever come to them
and everyone else is always wrong.

SO, these days, when I can see around the corner of their lives,
my opinions of their life choices are mostly known to them,
even without being spoken aloud by me all of  the time.
Most times I feel really stupid offering advice because of the looks I get from my girls.
I have learned to just listen and not offer advice unless asked.
Even when asked, I am usually scoffed at, and a week of isolation is the end result.
One mistake I made early on was to trust and keep quiet.
It is hard to do the same now, even though this is what my heart is telling me to do.
I believe my girls know that I am always here for them no matter what.

I am trusting in God, that He has it all under control.
Even if I am so fearful of their decisions at times,
I can barely move.

They are  both adults now.
They get to make the life mistakes that I did.
Hopefully they learn more quickly.

I pray that their consequences are not heartbreaking nor devastating,
although I know that is bound to happen.
I pray that their first reactions are to go to the Lord.
And then to me.
Maybe.
Let them go, Parents.
It's the only way they will come back.
Or so I am told.
And this is also a very short time in the scheme of things,
even though it is seeming to take centuries.

Blessed with wonderful daughters and a very supportive hubby!