walnut batts

I carded up the walnut wool I dyed the other day.\
Wow! Was that some dirty stuff!
All kinds of debris under the carder.
Left over walnut gunk, I suppose.

I think I will pull it all together into one roving
and spin it mixed.
Might get a couple hundred yards out of it.
Mittens?
Socks?
Depends on how I spin, I guess.

On a side note...
the master spinners class registration opened today.
I am so excited!
We'll see how the paycheck is....
5 days in Missouri in November,
then a year of study at home.
Who woulda thought?
I am so blessed!

Kool Aid!

I was so uninspired after my natural dyeing,
that I did a batch of Kool Aid dye.
Not only did it smell so much better in the house,
but the results are vibrant!
I can hardly wait to spin it up!

Just that little bit o color made my day!
Who knows what the walnut/avocado will become?
Everyone needs a bit of neutral.
I am stockpiling for the winter.
I plan on spinning and knitting and weaving
while hibernating.

PFFFTTT Natural Dyes

Well, after spending three days working with natural dyes,
I can honestly say that I am either no good at them,
I may need to take a class,
Or science has come a long way baby!

One whole day was spent preparing the mordant.
This is what is supposed to make the dye juice stick.
Measuring 1/6 teaspoon of something is for the birds.
I tried Alum mixed with cream of tarter,
Copper, Tin, Iron, Chrome (one of these was also mixed with c of t)
I spent that night, soaking and boiling and cooling wool in these concoctions.
The next day, I measured walnut, avocado seeds and peel into 6 different pans.
Added the appropriate amount of wool and water,
Boiled the correct amount of time,
cooled over night, and rinsed diligently today.

The only differences I have found are what the mordants colored the
original wool.
Chrome is a very pretty blueish,
copper is pale green and iron and copper are coppery!

I have had really good luck in the past with mulberries, grapes and marigolds.
I'll stick with these.

I have become a HUGE fan of Kool ade, and acid dyes.
These never disappoint me and I love the vibrant colors.
I may be mother earth in some areas,
but I like me some color!
Bring it on.
Kool ade this weekend!

dumb foot.

(tiny split on left middle of right xray is break)
My left foot hurts.
Get ready....pity party coming.
It doesn't happen often, but my dear friends,
it does happen.
I am not happy all the time,
but most of the time I am.

I'm a bit afraid now.
Saw a new doc and at least he watched me walk down the hall twice.
Yes, I did tip over a few times.
Not very good balance.
He seemed to know right away that I have charcot syndrome.
And after xrays, a broken left foot.
But because I haven't been able to feel my feet in over ten years,
that doesn't mean much to me.
However, this syndrome, at first blush seems a bit more .... more.
If what I am reading correctly, it is lumped into MDA.
I could possibly be a Jerry's KID!
You have no idea how much this at least cheers me.
Not a muscle problem, and no dying from this.
It is the nerves/bones and tendons in my feet that are affected.

Going for blood work tomorrow and will put a call into the doc
to see if I am on the right track, or scaring myself.

He said to walk etc, but the literature says not to.

I know that no matter what, I am in God's hands and He will get me through it all.
He has gotten me through so much already.
Thankfully it is usually only one thing at a time.

Hubby is very supportive and I am still going to Seattle in September!
New orthotics on the way, I hope!

Boo Hoo for me.
Now time to move on!
I am blessed

not beautiful people

I LOVE not being one of the beautiful people.
All the folks that are in my circle, are not beautiful people.
My church is filled with the not beautiful.
I have known some beautiful people.
The ones who only have the outside.
I feel for them.

The people I know, who are not beautiful,
are amazing on the inside.
I am finding that I don't even look at the outsides anymore.
I don't notice their outer appearance.
I am looking at their defiance of Satan's grasping,
strangling hold upon their loved ones.
I see them standing firmly for their families.
Satan's grip is loosening every moment
because of these not beautiful people.

These not beautiful people love their children
with all of their faults and struggles and challenges
and what the world sees as ugliness.
They see their worth!
Which in turn makes their children see their own worth.
I see the hearts that go out to neighbors who don't value themselves.
I see the pocket books that empty for people they do not know.
I hear stories of pain and stumbling....
but I also see these same not beautiful people
continue to move forward.

I enjoy reading their blogs,
getting to know them if only from their own words.
These funny things...blogs.
Makes me wonder if we would say the things we write.
Why are we so honest and open with our not beautiful lives.
I hope you know that I see you, even if I never say so.
Funny things....
I see them laugh at their not beauty...
which makes them the most beautiful people I know.

I am privileged to know each of you.

Am I crazy?

I was confronted with a dilemma today.
Actually a recurring problem.
I, apparently am unable to hide my feelings from my face.
You, my children, and others,
can see what I am feeling even without me uttering a syllable.
Even when I am unaware of such thoughts or feelings,
others can tell that I disapprove, or am irritated by my facial ticks!


When my daughter tried to make me understand this,
I was at a total loss as how to mask feelings I was unaware I was having.
Now, she brings up a valid point.
Sometimes there are times that my children know that I disapprove,
or am angry, and all it takes is a look from me and they feel guilt!

Don't tell them this,
but I kinda like that I have this power over them at times.
It is one of those mom skills that we try to perfect over the years.
It also is a hard skill to put away when the nest is empty.

I must let you and them know, that I am trying very hard NOT to shove my
feelings or ideas on anyone.
Live and let live is my new saying.
You get to deal with your own consequences.
I may worry about you.
I may pray for you.
I may even try to lend some motherly, or friendly advise.
And most of the time I am available to come to your aid when you ask for it.

But you must also know that my mind, most of the time, is a vapid mess.
It thinks of fibery things most of the time.
Or nothing at all.
I like looking at butterflies and get distracted often.

My wonderful husband, after listening to me fret over my facial ticks,
kindly informed me that some people
may have preconceived notions about what I may be thinking.
It may even sound in their head
like something that I may have said in the past.

But I am not responsible for what you think I am thinking.
Most of the time, I do say what I am thinking.
So if I don't say it, it really means that I didn't think it.
Or it could mean that I didn't feel like sharing what I thought.
In either case, it is not for you to get upset
or concerned about what I was thinking if I didn't say it.
I am not worrying about this anymore.

If anyone sees me with a look or pain on my face, or irritation,
please do not think that you are the one I am concerned about.
My foot probably hurts or
I have made yet another mistake on my newly acquired loom.

I am writing this for a few reasons.
1. For myself..to stop being concerned about what others are thinking.

2. For my daughters...yes, I am writing ab out and for you.
So you will live your lives for yourselves.
I love that you are concerned with my feelings.
But this is your life now.
Share with me all you want, and don't worry about the rest.

3. For the other moms out there who have not reached this point yet.
You will.
And you are not crazy. Just don't get upset about it.

Thank you again Terry, for being my sounding board and my stabilizer!

allegan fiber festival

I took two days off this week.
Just for me!
I drove about two hours north to Allegan Michigan.
The weather was great.
We had a cold front come in
which kept the temps around 80.


The alram went off Wednesday am at 5:45.
WAY TOO EARLY FOR ME!
I loaded the car with clothes, water and yarn.
I got the the Allegan County Fairgrounds just on time.
The class of 10 was introduced to the continuous strand loom.
8 of the 10 were working on seven foot triangle looms and
Ila and I were working on seven foot rectangle looms.
Honestly there is quite a bit of difference.
Carol Leigh is a great teacher and she and her family
have been making looms and weaving for decades.
What inspiring things they have made.

I spent the first hour taking notes and learning terms.
Then the work began.
For the next six hours, I wove and wove and wove.
I took my own "bulky" yarn and added some merino with it.
Should have used just one color because I wasn't too happy with the
end results of the color combo.
But I wanted to learn everything I could learn.
And did I ever!
By the end of the first day,
I was so confused as which loom to buy the next day.
I had come for the rectangle,
but they were doing amazing things with the triangles.
Then there was the square.

I finally went to the hotel in Holland,
got some spaghetti at Goog's...lol...and a milkshake,
and settled in for the night.
I tried to read the loom literature, but my eyes were crossing
and only seeing rows and rows of yarn!

SIDE NOTE:
I really do enjoy getting away from the every day routine once in a while.
I love my life and my family and friends.
There is just something about being on your own,
in a new place, with new ideas and people and spaces.
Where I can focus on one thing only.
All my concentration.
I was totally exhausted each night, and totally absorbed.


The next morning, after an invigorating breakfast
of banana, chocolate donut and apple juice,
I returned to the Youth Building at the fairgrounds.
I had decided on the rectangle.
I had spent this much time on it so far,
I dare not try to learn the triangle in one day!
Maybe another year.....

I was moving along so quickly that I thought I would be the first finished!
Until I sent that text telling my loved ones how wonderful I was doing.
My yarn broke, and I got the strands twisted several times.
I finished almost last.

Thank you God for putting me in my place and not letting me get so cocky!

I learned the leno lace technique, and finsihed off the weaving.
Took more notes on fringe...way cool...
and bought my loom...
and accessories!
Gotta have them tools!

When I got home, Joe put the loom together for me.
After rearranging my family room, and moving lots of things out,
I have room for my lovely rectangle loom.
Yes, I even started a 7 foot scarf before bed that night,
just so I wouldn't forget what I learned.

New adventure for my continuing fiber obsession!
Thank you Terry!

KOOL AID!

I should be in the kitchen canning all of my bounty today.
Picked over a dozen okra...
sneaky little buggers grow 3 inches over night!
Picked ten tomatoes
and with the other twenty three I have ripening already,
I better decide if I will can tomatos, salsa, or juice.
Maybe salsa since I picked two green peppers and seven hot peppers.
The yellow squash has petered out a bit...yea
and the zucchini looks kinda pitiful this year.
Cantaloupe next week and I did discover a watermelon!
I truly love gardening.
Again...will be feasting this winter!

I suddenly got into a fall mood tho.
Fall meaning the colors for spinning.
I went a bought some Kool Aid today...
the lady thought I was a kindergarten teacher!
Looking forward to mixing the colors and dyeing some roving!
Oranges, reds, purples, greens, greys, and browns.
Also got some cheesecloth to begin dyeing with my avocados and walnut shells.
I'll post photos when they get done in the next two weeks.
Not really looking forward to the smells of those last two~!
Maybe I should do Kool Aid at the same time....cancel each other out?!

OK.OK.. off to can!
Have a glorious day!

makin money

Yup,
I did it.
I made $51.00 spinning roving for a friend of my aunt's.
It was fun.
I never know what to charge, so
most of the time I give my work away.
Stupid, I know.
My time is valuable.
Have another friend who spins for folks
and charges $3.00 an ounce.
That's what I did and it went well.

I am so excited for next week when I travel to Allegan Michigan.
Fiber Festival.
I am taking a continuous strand weaving class.
No warping or shuttles for me.
I am hoping to make shawls, scarves, table runners, etc
with my homespun and making a bit of a profit there.

Am also planning on attending a master spinners class in November.
It is a 5 year program.
Whoot whoot!

Funny what one sale can do!

Who am I?

I am crazy in love with Jesus!
I am transforming everyday.
Some days I move forward and closer,
some days I take giant leaps backwards.
I hope that my sight remains on Him.
I am trying.

I am different from most folks.
I am quiet and hardly ever speak first...
or last in a crowded room.
My thoughts are hardly ever deep on their own.

I am ultra conservative, but haven't always been that way.
I am VERY naive.
For as shallow as I am sometimes,
I have really good insights.

The only things I really focus on and study outside of Jesus,
are fiber arts and gardening.
Eh, I garden in the spring and early summer and fall.
When the weather gets hot, the garden takes care of itself.

I enjoy politics.
I really like Glenn Beck and Bill Oreilly.
I don't particularly like their style most of the time...
way too loud and obnoxious for me,
but I agree with their values.
Family, God, work hard, be kind, look forward and behind.

It upsets me alot that people cannot discuss viewpoints
without becoming angry, loud, mean.

I really would like to know what people believe,
study upon their views, and incorporate them into my views,
or reject them.
But in a kind, graceful way.

I don't believe that any of us have all of the information.
Insight is gained by openness.

I am happy to be alone and I love being with people.
I love to laugh!
I love movies of all kinds.
I love to read murder mysteries.
Nature and I are good friends.
I love baby animals, monkeys and beautiful sunsets.
I need to lose weight and am trying every day...
most days I do well.

My daughters are beautiful, inside and out.
I am very proud of them.
I am proud that I helped a little in their life.
Every day I am happier that that part of my job is done.
I never thought I would see that day!
I have faith that they will have extraordinary lives.
Hopefully without too many bumps in the road.
Life is short, but we must remember that tomorrow is another day!

I am very proud of my husband
and how hard he has always worked to provide for us.
Even if I didn't agree with him all the time.

I have had many hard times in my life.
Family illnesses, hard years in my marriage,
I survived the teenage years of my girls,
the harsh ending of friendships,
trying for years for a relationship with inlaws,
but finally having to accept that I must stop trying,
heartaches, back aches, foot aches,
many nights of sleepless worry, self doubt etc.

It is better to leave it all to God and expect Him to handle it.
I do what I can with His help, but the difference is
knowing He is the one in the driver's seat.

I am blessed.

Tea

I have started drinking hot tea instead of coffee.
I began drinking coffee on my honeymoon in New Orleans.
So now, when I drink coffee...it has to be very strong,
and have lots of cream in it.
And I mean lots.....like half cream.
No fru fru creamora, powdered or flavored stuff.
Half and Half.
Possibly heavy whipping cream if no half and half is available.

This is the main reason for tea.
Slowing down on the cream.
Because, let's face it.
When you have coffee, you really want pie or a donut to go along with it!

When I was at Barnes and Nobles this week, I bought a nifty little tea carafe.
It is a tea strainer, steeper, thermos thingy.
I learned that you put the tea leaves/or bag into the main thermos.
Pour hot or cold water in it.
Put the strainer on, then the cap.
One drinks through the strainer that filters out the tea leaves.
How fun is that?!

I even had to take a trip to Saugatuck to the Spice store for loose tea leaves.
How decadent am I?
Orange Passion fruit, Paris, Blueberry blend, and Cocoa Cardamom.
I really have been enjoying this.
I slipped my lime green Thermos into my purse when going to a movie too.

My Goodness....I've been heavy!

I spent most of the day yesterday lounging.
Woke up at 4:30 am, and instead of just laying in bed,
I got up and spun.
Then I went back to bed until 10.
Made myself some blueberry pancakes.

The rest of the day was spent, carding and spinning.
I really enjoyed the day because some really great movies were playing on tv.
You know the kinds....ones you have seen a million times.
You only have to look up every once in a while, to see the best parts.

It started with Lara Croft, then Star Troopers, then Twister,
(I love Twister because not so secretly,
I would really like to be a tornado chaser!)
then Men in Black, then Princess Bride, and Fifth Element...only to name a few.
No, I didn't spend the whole day watching all of these movies,
and I did flip around and not see all of them in their entirety.

I did get 200 yards of colorful yarn carded and spun.
I did walk Charlie around the block.
I did pick and freeze a dozen okra.
I canned one pint of green beans.


But it was a nice day to do nothing!
No worries.
Went to dinner with V at Bonefish.
How I have grown to love raw fish!
The ahie tuna is amazing!
And I tried the new key lime with raspberries cold stone.
Very refreshing!

And I did sleep like a log.
Well, on that matter I am afraid to get up in the middle of the night.
I have a new security system that has a motion detector in the hall.
Yup. Right outside my bedroom door.
I make sure all my business is taken care of before I set the thing.
And I lay very still!

Have a wonderful day!

We've all heard it before...

It was ment to be.
Time heals all wounds.
God only gives you what you can handle.
You are building character.
Get over it already.
I'll pray for you.
Sometimes the answer is no.
It'll get better.
There is always rain before the rainbow.
It is darkest before it is light.
You have to walk in the valley for the mountain to mean more.
Even tho you walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I am with you.





We have all heard these at times in out lives that seem the darkest.
We have all said something like this when others are having hard times.
And they are all true.

God will take care of us, as he provides for the sparrows all their needs,
so He will provide for ours.

But darn it!
Sometimes hearing it is not what we need right then!

I was feeling overwhelmed this morning with all the hurt around me.

We need a hug.
We need understanding that this really hurts.
We need silence!
We need time to cry and grieve and suffer.
We need someone to stand beside us and not say anything.
We need someone to listen to our hurt without judgement.

Be that for someone who is hurting.

If you are hurting, then allow yourself to hurt...
for a time.
Grieve and scream if you must.
But only for a time.

Then pick yourself up and concentrate on someone else.
The quickest way to heal is to focus all of your energy on someone else.
I'm not saying to wear yourself out,
but get the focus on helping others for a time.

Walk someone's dog.
Bake a meal for someone in need.
Knit a hat for a soldier or mittens for a child.
Listen to some uplifting music and spin around.

Make sure to spend some time every day focusing on God
and what His plan is for you.
If you don't know what that is, try to find out.

Know that there are people out there with worse than you.
Know that there are people praying for you.
And loving you.
It will get better.
Hugs!

Meals on wheels!!!

Since I have lived in an empty nest for over a year,
my eating habits have changed drastically.
Well, my cooking habits.
Yes, I have been dieting too....
slowly going down, and not gaining!
It just seems easier for a single person to eat out.

I go to salad on Wednesdays with my girly girl friends.

Breakfast on Mondays with Veronica is always a treat...
even if it is brunch at panera.

Hil and I usually eat out once...
Logans anything and everything salad is a favorite.

We have family dinner on Sunday evenings with my parents,
mema and any boyfriends that are in town!

Once in a while, the girls and I will cook meals for a week.
That is so much fun.

I love to grill out almost anything if it's not too hot or mosquitoie.
Coffee on the porch in the early morning watching the birds in the garden,
and reading and studying is pure heaven.

Which leads me to today.
With the care ministry, my team and I make meals for members recently out of the hospital, who have just had babies, or are in need of some kind.
I love taking the first meals.
Especially to the new babies!

It is these time that I love to cook.
I love my kitchen for this reason only.
I think that is why we were able to remodel it right before attending Living Stones.
I have a few favorite things I like to make, especially in season!
I always make a serving or two for me also.
And I usually make enough to freeze
or find another family who needs a meal at the same time.

I have the best team in the world...too.
They are the best cooks.
When Terry and I were on vacation,
we had a church baby born early,
and a member whose hubby was in the hospital.
I coordinated by facebook and email from the road.
It went so smoothly!

Today I am exhausted!
Such a goooood tired!
Delivering meals in an hour.
Yoga tonight at 7:30.
Think I may fall asleep tonight in class!

Making my bed

A long time ago, I heard a Christian comedian do a piece on
wanting to great things for God,
but He told her to make her bed first.
This frustrated her, because she hated making her bed.
It was such a small insignificant thing.
It was not world changing.
It was not saving people for God!

But her insight eventually was,
that unless she was able to do the small things first,
the big things would not be trusted to her.

I am feeling that way today.
And then I remembered that it is through the small things
that God does His most magnificent works.

No one will ever see if my bed is made daily or not, but I know.
And God knows.

Most days I just pull the comforter up and call it a day.
After all, I am just going to crawl back in after a full day.
Who cares if the sheet is rumpled underneath.
God does.

I need to tackle everything God has laid out for me with great care.
Do everything completely.
No wrinkled bits covered over.
Because He does see.

I need to be patient because I do not know what His plans are for my life.
I can only listen for the next step when it comes.
I am doing it for Him.
Not for me.

It is through me that He is working to touch others.
I have no idea how He is using me.
I honestly don't want to know how He is using me,
because I don't want to think that it was me...
instead of Him.

I am that small.
I am small enough that He can use me.
I need to remain small, and get smaller all the time.
So that He becomes HUGE to those who need to know Him.

So, I will go remake my bed.
Pull the corners tight.
Put the pillows on straight.
Because no one will know but me and God.

struggling

This feels kinda like a struggling day.

I was very sleepy all day yesterday, but made myself be sort of productive.
Woke early to the alarm and headed off to church.
I had made three meals for three families at church
and I was a bit worried about seeing all of them to remind them to get their meals.

P.S. If there is taco soup and squash casserole there tomorrow,
I hope the church staff enjoys!

Tonight is family dinner and my mom is in a funky mood.
Hope I don't have to end dinner abruptly.

Anyway...it seems like Satan and the world are attacking our lil church family right now.
Not in big ways, but big enough.

Pastor Sam was ill this morning.
A member's father passed away last week.
There was an accident lasts night, that injured a member badly.
Another member had pneumonia and is recooperating after a very rough week.
He is in the nursing home for 25 days.
One friend's mother has cancer and will decide tomorrow how much treatment is needed.
One friend's mother has MLS and they are all very upset.
One friend's husband is in the hospital with a bad staff infection.
One friend's mother has autoimmune disease that is attacking her liver.
One friend's husband is underemployed and they are struggling.
One friend is struggling with her faith.

And these are just what I know about now.

Alright Jesus!
You can tackle anything and I am asking you to tackle all of this.
Use me as you will in these situations.
Keep my energy and disposition up and focused.

I have begun a specific daily prayer time that I will not sway from.
I have never done this before.
It is difficult to focus.
I am keeping my eye on God though and He will see me through.
I believe in the power of prayer.
I believe that God wants to give us our hearts desires.
We only have to ask.
I am asking Father.
Specifically.
I have faith in you!

I feel better already!