2011 ending in randomness

Random thoughts and actions today.

This was the last photo I took of 2010.
V, Hil and I had dinner at Ginos
before all their partying began.
I wonder what the last photo will be of 2011?

I remembered learning to drive
on a stick shift Honda in Pittsburgh Pa.
Nothing but hills everywhere.
I kept a sign in the rear window for YEARS
stating that I was a beginning driver.
Please stay far away when stopped behind me on a hill
because I roll backward in this stick shift car!

I remembered this when driving Hil's VW this morning.
Even though I have no feeling in my feet
it is so second nature to drive with a clutch,
I can even "hover" on a hill at a stoplight.

The 2011 calendar is put away,
and the 2012 has all birthdays and anniversaries marked.
2012 seems so ... possible ...  with empty calendar squares.
And the calendar is all about chocolate!

Celebrating V's last day at the spa
by eating cookie dough cheesecake together.
I need to buy some vodka and bailey's irish creme
for a cappuccino martini toast at midnight.
I bought some coffee flavored liqueur for a chocolate pie.
Had the hardest time finding it at Meijers.
Shows you how much I drink, when I didn't even know
Kahlua was coffee liqueur.

Either going to pull out the spinning wheel
or finish the weaving on the loom for New Years Day.
Sounds like we are in for quite the storm this week,
so I will have plenty of warm cuddly time for both!
I will continue taking down Christmas decorations...
all but the lit tree, until February.
I will miss all of the jewel toned balls and festiveness.
Come on Spring!

Getting so excited to be with all the family in Feb.
Terry's son, wife and grandbabies,
are joining us and the boyfriends in Colorado!
I will have all the snow angel, snowmen, sledding time
I have been missing with the grandbabies I can stand.

I really miss being able to spend every day,
or even every week seeing them.
Maybe lower Texas will be the place to retire?

I hope for a very happy, healthy,
prosperous New Year for you all!
I will be continuing purging, dieting and exercising!
I am blessed!
Bring it 2012~

I'm Baaaaaack!

I didn't intentionally avoid writing.
The holidays overtook most of my time.

I quickly knit up many last minute hats as gifts.
My main project was the sweater for the granddaughter.
It turned out great and she loved it!
Started Hil's socks...thigh high....the week before Xmas,
and needless to say, they have yet to be completed.
Have a good start tho.

Terry was home for four days,
and we enjoyed time together,
stocking stuffer shopping,
some personal business taken care of,
a few meals out,
and a wonderful Christmas Eve and LSC,
followed by the best Christmas morning we have had yet.

Monkey bread and scrambled eggs,
ham, hash brown potatoes, green beans, baked squash,
crescent rolls and Shirley's jello.

The main course was delish,
but I seem to have forgotten how to bake.
The only thing that turned out were the sugar cookies, and peppermint canes.
I threw one batch of fudge out....
I am blaming the out of date fluff.
The divinity, even tho made on a sunny day,
turned into taffy.
Butterballs, my favorite....both batches failed,
even tho folks ate them and said they tasted good.

Maybe because I am starting my healthy living,
is the reason I cannot bake sweets.

Both girls are working with a trainer, and eating minimal types of food.
May as well join the team......
but I will be on the total gym instead of going to one.

I was over blessed this year.
One might even say spoiled.
I feel very loved by all.
We actually started out saying no gifts this year...
well, I am the mommy.
I shopped a bit.
Most of us used amazon.com,
even tho I began hearing black commercials against them,
as they do not charge state taxes.

V and I took the day off yesterday and hit Four Winds Casino.
It was a nice drive, and even though we didn't win anything,
we had a wonderful time losing what we brought.
We tried a few new games, and were disappointed with Pharaoh...again.
The buffet line was too  long, so we went to Martin's for a salad bar.
I so enjoy spending time with my girls.

The birds are fed,
chuck needs a bath and hair cut,
I am working on my resolution/bucket/things I must do this year lists.
I am determined.

Well, maybe I'll get out the spinning wheel again before New Years.
I miss the ol girl!

Have a very Happy and joyous New Year!
You will be in my daily thoughts.
Even if I don't get around to blogging as often.

Be blessed yourselves.

P.S. It seems my puter won't download any pictures at the moment....

new route needed

Took Chuck for his last walk for a few days yesterday,

as I had tendons cut in my left foot today.

Don't freak out!

I had it done to my right foot last year to straighten out my screwed up toes.

No numbing as I don't feel much, if anything.

A good excuse to sit my butt down and finish up some knitting.

But...as for Chuck.

 We walked around the block,

and I noticed that neighbors have been putting up many holiday decorations.

Charlie didn't really seem to notice, until we came to this house.

He grabbed his leash and began to chew,

hunkered down and was really nervous.

I, of course was laughing.

I thought I should let him sniff so next time around

he wouldn't be afraid.

After I dragged him, to Jesus in the manger

with cooing happy tones in my voice,

he sniffed at His feet while I pet Jesus.

Chuck was sort of ok, but wary of Mary.

I rested my hand on her head.

Chuck sniffed from a distance,

while as low to the ground as I have ever seen him.

When I moved my hand from Mary's head,

the movement really frightened him.

So much so,

that he did a back flip trying to get away as quickly as he could

 Now, I suppose,

at least until Christmas is over,

we will have to find another route to walk.

However, Charlie and I will give this home one more go round...

with the video running on my camera!

It has been a few weeks since we ventured out to the mall.
Mema, and Mom and Dad have all had colds.
Actually, I made them separate dinners for the holiday and took it to their house, instead of
them coming to mine.
Mema still sounded a bit stuffy this morning
when I picked her up, and was in a confused, blah mood.
The mall was just what she needed!
There were tons of little kids playing when we arrived.
They all flocked to Mema too, and all had something to say.
They were telling her where they were going to eat,
who was who's brother,
and how they acted up,
who was riding in the mini van with them,
what they had for breakfast...
waffles and cereal seemed to top the list.
And orange juice!
Then, all of the sudden, all the kids left.
Must have been lunch time.
We had already had our coffee and cookie,
so we decided to walk and see Hilary,
who was working at the Walking Company.

Half way down the mall,
and we stopped in to the Walking Company
for a breather.
We decided to go see Santa Claus.
Hil, of course wanted to come!
So, the three of us hiked to the other end of the mall.
Needless to say, we had our exercise!
There was no line to Santa, so we walked right in.
At first Mema put up a fuss,
because she wasn't dressed for a photo.
But when Santa crooked his finger at her,
she went right over,
with the funniest, shocked, flirty expression.
He patted his lap and she sat right down.
Hil and I gathered around,
and the first picture taken, was perfect!
Mema started to get up when Hil and I went to pay for the pic,
and Santa held on to her,
He wanted to know what she wanted for Christmas.
This surprised her, and she didn't have an answer.
He told her, he would bring her lots of surprises!
Not sure how I feel about this Santa.....
kind of icky, maybe...but Mema was all smiles!

As we walked out of the mall,
all Mema could talk about was how she never imagined
that she would be sitting on Santa's lap at age 88.
Seriously, all the way home,
she had a huge grin and kept giggling at
what adventures we get into!
I think we will all put green sweatshirts on,
Mema in a red sweater and santa hat...
(she would make an awesome Mrs. Claus)
and get our family pic taken with Santa.
We are blessed to have Mema with us!

wasting the day away

Decided to clean and rearrange the bedroom today.
That was before I texted V,
telling her I was going to South Bend Chocolate
to surf Black Friday sales.
As I was throwing on sweats and tshirt,
she texted that she was in!

UGH.
So I put on my jeans and pearls...
yes I found them hiding in Hil's room and confiscated them again,
the pearls that is,
but missing anything could be found in her room.
Laptop in bag, mittens on and out the door.

Caffe Wein and bagel consumed,
we are sitting and each in our own worlds,
occasionally asking what the other has found,
or showing something inspiring.
No black Friday ads for us......
too much hustle and bustle that day.

Instead I am wasting the morning away
looking at one of my favorite blogs:

shop-dog.blogspot.com
If you like dogs with attitude,
you will surely enjoy this quaint site.
I giggle all the time at his antics.

Parking time is about to run out,
and I do have to get to the cleaning and rearranging.
Enjoy!

Grounding

I had an interesting conversation with hubby yesterday.As he has been in Canada for an extended period,
we have been catching up on our frequent calls.
(I really missed being able to talk with him
at any moment I wanted to...he turns his phone off in Canada
...at $.30 a minute..whew!)
He called and asked what I was doing.
My answer was...I'm making red velvet cupcakes.
He started laughing.

Apparently, his day was filled with political radio,
"discussions" with driver managers, and the world in general.
He said it felt like he came crashing back to the 1950's reality
when talking to me....good ol June Cleaver.
He was reminded that life is good, things move forward,
and that I ground him.
I however, never in all my dreams imagined that I would be
looked upon as June Cleaver.
Or mother earth, or, Pollyanna,or Miss Kris from my contemporaries.
I rather enjoy it.
I have a good life.
I am blessed that my hubby works really hard for our family,
and always has.
I am blessed that I was able to homeschool our daughters
and that they are amazing.
I am blessed that my days are filled with Mema, coffee,
cupcakes, care ministry, spinning, and taking care of others.
People say I am always so busy.
Most days I don't feel it, but when I look back,
yup..I'm pretty busy.

Last night V invited me to come to a poetry reading at Notre Dame.
Alice Notley was the poet.
Everything you would imagine a poet to look and act like.
She was funny and very very strange.
I followed the first series or works...I think,
but the last had my brain concentrating harder than it ever had before.
It actually was hard to decide what to have for dinner afterward.
There were so many obscure, weird, graphic ideas thrown around.
If this woman could be published and popular,
why can't others with more clear ideas do the same?
Or is it that she is so totally off the wall,
that others think her genius?

Anyway, it is a very cold morning,
Chuck has his sweater on in the house,

but my electric bills are only $51,
so the thermostat is staying where it is.
Maybe a bit higher to  67.
Thanksgiving is right around the corner,
I am making turkey, rolls and stuffing.
V and Mom have the rest, I think.
Delegating is good.
I am thankful!

I tunes

What a wonderful invention!
Yes, I am a bit behind in the times,
but I am so happy about my nano!
I just downloaded 12 new Christmas songs!
Everything from Barbra Streisand Jingle Bells,
Muppets 12 days of Christmas,
Andy Williams Happy Holidays,
Frank Sinatra I Believe,
and of course, some Micheal Buble!

Hilary refuses to let me begin decorating before Thanksgiving is over.
Who's house is this anyway?!
I do need to declutter before pulling out the holiday boxes
I suppose.
No fun!

At least I'll be listening...and singing...
holiday songs while I clean
and walk Chuck.
My neighborhood is in for a surprise this year,
as I add more holiday songs to my repertoire.

Have a blessed day!

Trying to Heal

I visited my podiatrist yesterday.
After breaking my big toe six weeks ago,
the xrays showed that it is "trying to heal".
This is somewhat frustrating,
but expected, with my Charcot condition.
Doc is worried that the bone will heal improperly
as other bones in my feet have similarly healed.

I raked the front and back yard this weekend.
I was soooo sore when I woke up the next day.
Everything hurt.
Everything that is, but my feet.
I suppose it would help the healing process
if I stayed off of my feet as much as possible.
But when it doesn't hurt......
You see my problem.
I have confidence that eventually the swelling will go down,
the color will return to normal,
I won't have to go for periodic check ups for this toe.
Complete recovery!
I am reminded that when you are suffering  a cold or the flu,
it seems as if you will never be, or even  remember 
what it feels like to be healthy again.
To have energy, stamina, a clear head,
nothing dripping, and a sunny disposition.
It amazes me every time, when the bug is gone!

I am also reminded of a healed marriage.
For many years it seemed as if I was to be forever unhappy.
After twenty six years tho,
I can testify that hard times do indeed pass.
Growing, changing, learning, compromising, loving...
all needs to happen for a change to begin.
I went to a Joyce Meyer conference this past weekend
with my two best sistas.
We were all so very inspired, convicted, and lifted up!
Cleveland is a beautiful city!
The topic of the meetings was the Fruits of the Spirit.
If you watch the program, in six months,
you may get a glimpse of us girly girls intently listening,
and trying NOT to look at the camera.
Although one of us was chewing gum like a cow...
I won't say who!
One thing Joyce mentioned, is that God works VERY SLOWLY.
You ask for something,
you wait and wait, and wait,
until you think you can not wait any longer.....
then SUDDENLY God works and answers your request.

Rarely does He answer quickly.
Rarely do we ask for things that He can give to us quickly.
Most of the time He waits, so that we will...
be mature enough,
and have enough character,
to handle what we have asked for.

So, after raking my leaves one more time this season.....
I am going to enjoy healing.
I have lots to knit, spin, and read.
Many plans are brewing in the near horizon,
that I will also be maturing for the answers.

I am blessed and broken :)

weather/clouds

I am a weather junkie.
Clouds and storms fascinate me.
My dad and I used to sit in our garage in Pittsburgh
and watch the storms roll in.
Lightning, thunder, pressure changes, animal reactions.
All of it was awe inspiring.

When a storm threatens I:
1.  gather candles and flashlights,
because undoubtedly my power will go out,
being on the Morris Park Country Club property line.
Inevitably, a tree or branch will fall over the power lines.
2.  stand looking west out my back door,
watching the wind, clouds and storm approach.
I will stand here until the rain threatens to drench my family room.
Sometimes, I venture beneath the overhang on the garage side of the deck.

The other night, I took out the trash and looked up to the sky.
I was struck with the weird formations above.

Did anyone else notice these formations?
The winds were coming from the south east,
and also pushing in from the north.
Fantastic swirls of clouds!
As the sun was setting, the colors of fall and the approaching storm
had me glued to my spot in the yard.
No storm came though, but I had many pictures of the fast moving phenomena.
Maybe I should have been a weather girl!

Blessed by God's mighty, and creative show.

Out of the slump.

I have been a bit down recently.
I didn't know the cause.
My girlfriends pampered and supported me,
guided me toward being good to myself.
Italian language began!
I love it.
Posting tiny vocabulary words through the house.
Finding it hard not to speak to others in the words I have learned,
who do not know I am learning another language.
And those I do speak Italian to,
I am trying to speak the English meaning as well.

My daughters have been a bit concerned with me as well.
Could be my 47th bday is approaching,
or the rainy, cold days.
I even went so far as to pop a xanex one evening.
I threw out the rest of the pills
because they expired in 2009.
But, I slept well in a good mood :)
When my daughters heard that my friends wanted me to be selfish for a bit,
they were concerned again.
I am who I am,
do what I do,
help where I can help,
love on who I can love on.
Learning Spanish so I could speak to the kids in my neighborhood
didn't seem like a bad idea to them.
I love them all for loving me so much.
I have actually decided to go in the middle.

When the idea of a women's retreat at church strangled my attention,
I gradually, in the wee hours of the morning,
realized that this is what my friends warned me of.
I put away the plans, and decided to move slowly.
They were very happy.....
that I learned the lesson,
and that I was very excited about something again.

In the end, I figured out what was wrong with this girl.

Last winter I was challenged to begin some spiritual transformation.
In my usual way, I dove right in.
My mornings were spent with the Lord.
My prayer life became a daily journal with concerns and answers for others.
(Something I have NEVER  been consistent in)
I began reading some awesome studies.
(See previous  2010 posts)

Over the past few months,
life has taken a turn.
Slowly, without even knowing it,
I have been slipping.
Appointments, early in the day.
Illnesses or responsibilities.
Not sleeping well then sleeping late.
The Today Show, then Dr. Oz.

Gradually all of these things robbed me of my time with God.
I wasn't journaling, praying consistently, or studying.
One day last week I realized this.
I have been trying to get back to my passion for time spent with Christ.
And I believe HE has welcomed me back with open, always waiting arms.

It is amazing how lost I felt.
It is even more amazing how quickly my mood has changed.
I notice sunsets and fathers playing with their children,
and smiling because of these.
He is placing people in my life again when I ask Him to.
I am blessed again.
He never moved an inch.
He was there every morning with a smile for me.
I passed Him by.

If I could only express how much joy and peace there is to be found in the Lord
for those who don't know, or those who have forgotten.
Things go more smoothly.
Appreciation is abundant.
There are still problems,
but they work themselves out with less tears and gnashing of teeth.
I know I will slide again.
It is human nature.
I only pray that I will remember this lesson earlier next time.

Blessed again!

Knitting Updates

With autumn sneaking around,
between hot, mosquito filled days,
icy cold frosty, rainy days,
sun filled, then cloud covered moments,
I am finding time to finish and start
a few knitting projects.
My initial longing was to spin and knit my dad
an icelandic cardigan I remembered from my youth.
It is the end of October,
and I am just spinning the icelandic.
There is NO way, I will spin and knit
quickly enough for a Christmas
or January birthday gift.
Winter is supposed to be long this year,
so I will plan on next Christmas, Daddy.

Instead, I finished a birthday gift for my BFF.
Yes, I had it knitted last year for her day,
but for some reason
I was terrified to sew it together.
It turned out beautiful,
if I do say so myself!
I'll give it to her Thursday.
The brown bottom edge was the very first thing I spun.
It is 100% alpaca.
A friend of mine spin the brown and white alpaca
from her herd.
Alpaca stretches and is VERY warm.
I'll try to get a pic of her wearing the sweater.
Happy Birthday K!

The second is the pair of socks
I have been working on for a bit.
I spun the Coopworth and enjoyed working with it.
When I came to the heel on this particular pair,
I hated how it turned out!
I ripped it back to the gusset...
which is difficult on size 1 needles.
I am hunting for another heel pattern now.
I don't believe,
in the tens of socks I have made,
that I have made two pairs using the same pattern.
SO many socks, so little time.
And most have been for my use!

I started knitting my grand baby a cardigan
I am using mostly my hand spun.
The hem and front seams are mixed wool,
the yellow stripe is marigold dyed mohair and silk,
the purple is a wool blend.
The fair isle pattern has some mohair,
angora and baby alpaca.
The white is store bought.
I didn't know what I was going to use,
as I didn't have enough of one yarn to knit a whole sweater.
So I just added as I went.
This is the first fair isle I have tried,
and was inspired by a book that comes out in November.
I may have time to get a mitten or two done
following these future patterns.

Happily enjoying completing.
Happily enjoying the changing leaves.
I am happily watching fuzzy catepillers.
Happily enjoying the nuthatches and titmice
gathering sunflower seeds and burying them.

I am happy and blessed.

Buongiorno!

I am learning Italian.

Before I take a class though,
I am studying from cds and books.
I like to know a bit before taking a class,
as languages were never my strong suit.
German I can spew off a few phrases
from middle and high school.
But I'm old now, and learning is difficult.

Mi familia is a bit upset with me.
I can greet and say good bye,
colors, numbers and a few phrases.
But when Hil is rushing out the door,
and I shout Arrivederci,
she rushes back in to see what I said.
I am starting to say the Italian, then English
as not to confuse or anger them.

I bought a "learning Italian in the car" set
with my first income from a baby cocoon I made,
and listened to it while cleaning the garage,
and driving to a from Saugatuck.
Admittedly, I missed a turn
while learning numbers and time.
I had to get back on the right road,
or wind up in Detroit.

So if I see you and it's morning,
I am saying good morning!
Evening, I am saying good evening.
If I am leaving I am saying good bye.

I am really very excited about this.
It's funny how similar to English and Spanish
this language is.
Nothing at all like German!

Saugatuck was beautiful,
although the leaves had not changes that much
to take my breath away.

I invested in some yummy teas and spices,
and started my Christmas shopping,
even though we are not giving gifts
to each other this year.
HARDY HARHAR!

Terry is traveling to Vancouver
and wants me to come with him....half heartedly.
Lots of work to take me with him in the truck.
Cleaning, insurance, hotels and eating better.
We would leave tomorrow (Wednesday) morning
and I have stuff to do.
No assurances I would be back
any sooner than two weeks either.

I worry about Chuck being alone most of all.
He doesn't eat when I'm gone,
and I do spend an awful lot of time with him;
even if I am only at the house or in the yard.

Silly to be so concerned for a dog.
One day I'll take him on the road with us.
For now, the girls are too busy,
and I don't want to ask my folks,
as Chuck likes his own home.
There is a new truck next spring too.
That is usually the time for travel on the 18 wheeler!

I am loving the fall.
Settling into spinning and knitting
some really cute baby things.

It's been unusually warm here in Indiana.
I am ready for the cool crisp!

I wish my phone could text in Italian.
Bummer.
Ciao!
I'll figure out blessed soon enough.

Moving onward

It's so good to have wonderful friends when you need someone!
To be able to call upon at any moment,
and know that they are there for you.
They are even ready to call out the troops if need be.
They give especially great hugs and wise words you need to hear.

I hope you have one or two of these in your life.

I was down for a bit.
Something came up and I felt alone.
My first response was to call on my girly girls.
They met me for salad,
I dumped all over them,
and they gave me firm wonderful advise.

I do too much for everyone else, and not anything for myself.
I, on the other hand ,
feel like I have way too much free,
lazy uninvolved selfish time.
I enjoy fiberarts and lounging in my back yard.

But I get what they are saying.
Too much of my mental time,
is taken up by concerns for others.

I am only responsible for myself and what I choose to do.
Not the consequences others will suffer.
I can't change any of their stuff to make life easier for them.

So, with the firm suggestions of my wise friends,
I am exploring my options.
Not to include cooking classes, so I can make better Care meals,
not to take Spanish, so I can communicate with
my neighbors I encounter while walking Chuck,
not volunteering at the Milton home,
where Mema spends two days a week.

I joined weight watchers and am committed to eating healthy,
as I usually don't get enough calories during the day...
thus my body thinks it's starving and holds on to every morsel.
I am committed to exercising everyday, more than just walking Chuck.
Here comes the total gym from the closet.
When Hil moves out, I will have a room dedicated to this clunky thing.
Until then it will be in the dining room!

And, I am researching taking some classes for me.
I have always been interested in Art History.
I also would like to learn Italian.
Not much good to anyone but me when I travel to study art.
But that is the point, right?

I am anxious to spin the icelandic I carded last weekend.
I have a wonderful sweater planned for my dad.
When I was a girl, he had a cardigan from Mexico.
My sister and I loved that sweater.
When we were a bit older and in school,
while living in Pittsburgh,
in the fall and winter,
it was the only warm item that was comforting.
I think my sister ended up with that sweater.
But I would like to make daddy one like it.
So many nice memories from my childhood seem to
revolve around that sweater.

Flu shot and mortgage payment, laundry
and lunch with a friend.
I hope I am good company.
I still feel a bit edgy and unfriendly.
Bible study tonight that I am looking forward to.
That has not changed.
I love my church.

And I have talked with God about not wanting to be
distracted from His plans for me.
In fact that is my primary goal to discover.
I know that He wants the best for me,
and sometimes that means taking the time for me.

Thank you for your prayers.
I am blessed!

Yelling

I just figured out,
after a tumulus day, and only four hours of sleep,
that God is screaming at me.
I believe He has been nudging, whispering, talking,
conversing, hitting me up side the head, etc.
But now, He has decided to make it perfectly clear to me.

What He is trying to tell me, I have absolutely no idea.

My family, I, my children, my parents, people around me...
seem to be in upheaval mode.
I don't think I am handling some of it too well.

Realization all started with our Christmas plans.
Last year was a dud.
New and old boyfriends in the picture dampened things a bit.
We found out we are boring....
one boy slept through the day,
the other's feelings I just found out...tolerating.
Granted Terry was not here,
and his mother had passed away the week prior.
No gifts were bought, although we tried to do a white elephant.
Directions were unclear.
Some bought too many cheap gifts,
some bought really expensive gifts,
and some brought no gifts at all.
Joe and I bought the same gift, which was way cool!

I have grandbabies, but they are in Texas.
In my holiday household, there are very old people,
old people, middle aged people and twenty somethings.
Not a great combo.
We are finding tolerance a huge part of the plans.

Terry thought maybe a Christmas in Cumberland Falls with the girls
and their significant others would be a nice change.
And it probably would have been, if we all liked each other.

As I have come to find out,
we all spend a lot of time together,
apparently more than most people do....
and spending time together for a holiday,
doesn't seem like anything special.
sigh.

My older members are not able to travel.
This leaves the guilt feelings of leaving them with no holiday.
Do we just buck up and endure another holiday?
Do Terry and I travel to snow covered Mackinac Island
where everything shuts down totally?
Do just the four Ballards venture out?
Admittedly, even we four have struggled with
our personal relationships and changing lifestyles recently.
Are we supposed to do something for others?

Which finally brings me back around to God yelling at me.

I have been through my childhood, pretty much unscathed.
Silver spoon if you must know.
I have been through the honeymoon and child rearing stage.
I just survived empty nest...and am confident I made it.
Now.....?
Ruts ville.

No one really needs me anymore.
I will always be needed. Don't get me wrong.
But recently I have been depressed.
No motivation or drive.
Everything is monotony.
I feel taken advantage of.
I feel cynical and disappointed.

I have been trying to figure out what God's plan is for me now.
At least I tried at the beginning of the year.
Obviously nothing panned out.
At least nothing that was HIS plan.

For example:
I was challenged by the pastor to grow my ministry team.
Cooking meals for those in need...new babies, adoptions, hospital...
and sending cards of encouragement out,
is not really a social, team building kind of group.
So I invited over 35 people to my home this coming Saturday
for breakfast and team building.
No agenda.
I have three yes's, and three no's.
Kinda sounds like a stall to me.
I will be pretty upset
if thirty five folks show up with out rsvp ing...

So, I may be a bit silent for a while.
I'll still be spinning and knitting,
and visiting the kiddos at the mall with Mema on Thursdays.
Thank goodness I love my church!
I am uplifted and inspired there.

I think I just need to LISTEN.

Maybe this is just a period of waiting and uncertainty.
Maybe something is just around the corner
that I will need this time of rest to conquer.
Maybe I need to start taking advil pm on a regular basis again.
There are a lot of maybe's and should's.

I have a great life.
Better than most, and I feel blessed.
Just floundering a bit.

now.. life...today

It's raining today.
We are caught in a pinwheel of a system
that will begin to end, maybe on Wednesday.
We need it for the lawns and over dry gardens.
I needed it for some pre hibernation.

I love autumn!
Hunkering down and in.
Spinning and knitting seem more appropriate.
Settling in within.

Looking forward to brambling around the forests,
getting caught up in all the fall colors.


Green is so invigorating.
Orange, red, yellow, bronze,
are all comforting.
Time for discovering all the things
we did not have time for during the spring and summer.
Time seemed to have flown again.
I enjoy the business of outside,
activities that don't happen under the snow covered blankets.

But now I am ready for the cold.

Continuing to spin the orange/red/blue sock yarn.
Think I'll triple ply the skeins.

Loving how comfortable I am getting with core spinning
and looking forward to knitting with it.


Have many plans for sweaters, hats, mittens, socks...
but also need to spin the yarn for them.
Also need to get knitting with the yarns I already spun.

Looking forward to retreats, spiritual transformations,
growing with team members, and upcoming Living Stones babies.

I discovered today that I truly don't like to cook anymore.
I love to make meals for folks though.
Just cooking for one, and then having to clean up
is the pits for this girl.
I was remembering all the meals and planning
when the kids were young, and hubby was home.
Very domestic.
I enjoyed cookbooks and magazines and imagining tastes and textures.
Now I only cook for ministry and happenings.
I truly don't even think of food anymore,
but for coffee in the morning.
This too is a change in me I am accepting and growing with.

I am blessed.

fall promptings

Due to the seasonably cool weather,
I have gotten the spinning bug again!
Also looking through old Spin Off magazines
has inspired me to challenge myself.

Going to drum card some colors into stripes
and spin for socks.
I LOVE knitting socks!
Not only are they a dream to wear..
even though I have no feeling in my feet,
temperature either,
but the thought of toasty wool socks sounds yummy.
They are quick to knit and I believe I have found a perfect
heel pattern. I knit two at a time from the toe up.

I have some red, yellow and blues along with some natural oatmeal
that I will blend together and self stripe!
Going to get the carder out tonight.
Wahoo...wool!

Life is grand now.
Friends are plenty,
oh so proud of Hil and all her achievements,
V and I seem to be as good as we have ever been....
just no funny as heck, but inappropriate,
you left that door wide open, remarks!
Hubby is doing really well on the east coast.
Delivered some granite to the Washington Monument Sept 14.
If he could only remember not to use
the wireless when NOT in a 4G area!
Mema is back home and our Thursday outing to the mall
to watch little children playing resumes day after tomorrow!

Now, can anyone tell me where to find someone to dispose of,
a twice the size of Charlie, raccoon and a possum.
Scared the crap out of all three of us last night!
My throwing a flashlight at the coon did nothing
but allow Chuck to come back into the house.
Evening walks for a bit.

I am blessed!